Music Is My Life

Moved. Retained

2011-01-20T23:46:00.003+08:00

I have moved to a new place, but this blog will still remain. It's been four months since I last updated here, but that doesn't mean I have forgotten about my very first blog.

In 2005, I made the decision to 'pen' my daily activities and thoughts unto a cyber diary that was supposedly cool. Now, I see things in new perspectives. In 2005, I was 14 years old. This year in 2011, I'm going to turn 20. Reading the past entries has made me realized how much I've grown. The changes were subtle, but still evidently there.

Whether or not I've changed for the better is not for me to judge, but for my parents, and of course my friends. I won't be linking my new cyber diary to this blog, because that is a whole new me.

This blog? It will be retained. For me to look back into those forgotten memories and see how childish I used to be, and to appreciate my upcoming adulthood.

I asked myself.

2010-09-07T21:19:00.002+08:00

"Oh shit," my mouth silently cursed as I saw the morning rush hour crowd pack the bus that was going to take me to work. I knew at that moment, that that was not the kind of life I wanted to live.

Just today, I started my attachment with DP Architects, and will be working with them for the next five weeks. As I realized what I was doing, I knew right then that I was similar to a typical working adult.

I was standing there at the bus-stop waiting for the bus, like everyone else.

I was with the morning rush hour crowd, like everyone else.

I was going to start work at 9, like everyone else.

I was going to sit in front a desk with a computer, like everyone else.

I was going to end work at 1700-1630, like everyone else.

I was going to take the crowded evening rush hour bus home, like everyone else.

At that fateful moment, I asked myself, "Do I want this to be my future?"

nothing

2010-08-23T23:02:00.001+08:00

You just can't make up your mind, don't you? What happened to during the holidays you can watch all the videos/movies you want. Now you say I watch too much, and it is still the holidays.

Urgh.

.

2010-08-20T22:52:00.002+08:00

Just something as simple as a transcript and you treat it like it's FYP. You have OCD in the way that you cannot stand it when people don't do things similar to the way you do. Don't want to bother? FINE. I don't need you to bother. It was just a casual offer that I took up and I didn't need you to stick your nose into the problem. Because of your interference in what was actually a simple matter it became something so much more and that wasn't necessary. There have many incidents like this, you've seen how hurt I get by your actions yet you still do the same thing. This is not a case of a child being punished by a mother for doing the wrong things so it doesn't matter whether the child feels hurt because he or she was wrong in the first place, NO. This is the case where YOU are in the wrong yet you still do the same thing over and over again without fail.

just don't get it.

2010-08-02T23:28:00.002+08:00

What on earth is there to like about vampires?? They bite your neck, feed on your blood and they look freaky with the pale skin and unnatural eye colour. I seriously do not understand it. Since when were vampires the 'perfect' people??

Goodness me.

What has the world gotten into?? Yes you should get it by now, I am not interested in Twilight or anything to related to vampires for that matter. I find it extremely annoying that legendary creatures are able to make so many girls go all weak on their knees. It's disturbing. So what if in the book Edward Cullen is the most romantic creature alive?

And Robert Pattinson was much hotter when he was in Harry Potter. The messy look does not work for me at all.

Key is hotter. Aaron is hotter.

1 Peter 4:12-19

2010-06-13T15:18:00.002+08:00

"12 Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; 13 but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. 14 If you are reproached for the name of Chirst, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. On their part He is blasphemed, but on your part He is glorified. 15 But let none of you suffer as a murderer, a thief, an evildoer, or as a busybody in other people's matters. 16 Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in this matter. 17 For the time has come for judgment to begin at the house of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the end of those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18 Now "If the righteous one is scarcely saved, where will the ungodly and the sinner appear?" 19 Therefore let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good, as to a faithful Creator."

Yahoo

2010-06-06T23:14:00.001+08:00

Members of the church are indeed surprised to here the news, but they are not complaining and whining about the case. So why are the people who are non-believers are more agitated about the news than us? Many have accused the church of not releasing information about the case. But the newspapers have clearly reported that the police have said that it is not favourable to release any information at this point. If the police are keeping mum, what about City Harvest? If the police do not share anything with us, how are we supposed to share with the public? Please think logically.

To those who have already accused Pastor Kong and Sun:
The verdict is not out yet. The police have stated that the individuals investigated are INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY. Please do not act like you know everything.

To those who are complaining about how the money can be better used:
City Harvest sets aside money EVERY YEAR for mission trips and charity. If we are using ALL the money collected from tithes and offerings just for the church building alone, how would we have been able to send resources over to Aceh and Haiti when they were in distress?

To those who say they know God:
You are foolish. Nobody knows exactly what God thinks. Unless you are Jesus that has come down again, please refrain from saying things like that.

To those who wonder why tithes and offerings are necessary:
Tithes are money that we give unto God that comes from 10% of our monthly income. Everything that we own and have comes from God. That 10% we are giving is what rightfully belongs to God, and He is only asking for that small percentage that belongs to Him. The giving of tithes is clearly stated in the Bible that it is necessary for a believer. We are not brainwashed by our pastor. If you say that God does not want our money, we are brainwashed by our pastor, by what the Bible clearly states, you are saying we are brainwashed by God.
Offerings are money we give to build God's church. Don't Taoists and Buddhists give offerings up to their own god as well? Likewise, we Christians give money unto our God, just that it is in cash form.

To those insulting Christianity and its values:
My friend once told me something that I feel really makes sense, "What makes sense to the people of a certain religion, may not make sense to those who are not of that certain religion."
This is absolutely true. How should I explain the Bible and the teachings of the church to people who have already set their minds on their own ideas? What makes sense to us, may not make sense to you. Members of CHC are not brainwashed. Whatever the pastors have preached to us, reference has been made to the Bible.

To people who say government is god:
You are foolish. Yes, it's true that many things now are now judged by the government, but that DOES NOT make them God. People who managed to run away scot free on earth from the government will not be able to escape God's eyes.

To those who say the church forces it's members to make donations:
This is furthest from the truth. If this is how you see things, doesn't it also mean that God is forcing his people to donate as well? God said that we should tithe. Does this mean He is forcing? We Christians believe that when we tithe, the windows of heaven will be open and God's blessing will fall upon us. Tithing does not make us poorer, we still have 90% left of our income. Does the church force us? No. It is our own free will. Why do you think no CHC members have been complaining and whining about the recent events? All we have been saying is that we believe in the leadership of the church.

To those who say that we might as well give all to God if He is our Provider:
Yes, God is our Provider. But in order for Him to provide for us, we need to work for it. The Bible says, you reap what you sow. We only get the blessings from God when we work for it. By the logic that some people have in their comments, doesn't that mean Christians can just laze around while sitting ducks and let God provide everything? No. We need to work in order to get our blessings. Nobody in the church is foolish enough to sell everything they own to give to God, that is not what God wants. He wants us to make a sacrifice, meaning to give Him SOMETHING in our possession to Him.

To those who think the church is wasting money on Suntec Singapore:
We are not. As many of you know, CHC has a congregation of more than 20,000. Singapore Expo Hall 8 only allows us to sit a maximum of 8,000 and our church in Jurong West only allows us to sit 1,000. Because of the limited space we are allowed, we have to hold 4 English weekend services. We want the church to be able to enjoy service together as family, which is why we need a big space to allow us to build a 12,000 seater auditorium.

To those who wonder why we must build a church in the city area:
This is because Jesus told His people to go into the world to preach the gospel. The reason why our church is so 'modern' and 'cool' is because we want to engage the culture of the world so that it will be easier for us to reach out to the masses. Some of you may think that this is total nonsense. But like what I said earlier on, what makes sense to the people of a certain religion, make not make sense to those who are not of that certain religion.

To those who wonder where Pastor Kong gets his income from:
It has been stressed many times that Pastor Kong runs his own business. That's where he gets his income from. And why is it necessary for him to publicly make known how much he donates to the church? How will it help you in anyway if you are not part of the church? Yes, transparency is important but how it should be used is another issue all together.

In conclusion, I just implore that non-believers will respect us as Christians and as a church. Do you want us to go around insulting your religion as well? Do unto others what you want others to do unto you. Like what I said earlier, Pastor Kong and the rest of the individuals are innocent until proven guilty. I agree that the whole issue is very fishy and something is amiss. Those who are insulting Pastor Kong are indirectly hurting the members of the church. We are humans as well, and when we see comments insulting our pastor and the God that we love, we get very hurt. I respect the views of the people, likewise, I hope they can respect my views as well. We are living in a multi-religious society, so let's just try and live in harmony.

saddened.

2010-06-05T17:24:00.003+08:00

It's really hurting to know that the church where I found God again, is now under media and public scrutiny. I am not angered by people's comments about City Harvest and Pastor Kong, but deeply saddened and hurt.

It's not surprising to hear negative comments about our church because face it, CHC has been under controversy for Sun's 'ranchy' music videos, our Suntec City building fund project and a whole lot of other stuff. I understand the misconception and misunderstandings of CHC, but please, do not insult the church. I am not going to say anything that will damage the reputation of CHC and anything that will insult others. I am just expressing the surge of emotions I am feeling right now.

Netizens are now calling Pastor Kong, 'Con Hee'. Some have even jumped to accuse him of misusing the church funds before the truth has come to light. RazorTV recently went out into the streets to ask various people about their opinions of City Harvest. In the beginning of the video, it showed a clip of Pastor Kong showing the congregation the average amount each group of people gave to the church for the previous building fund. After showing the slides, Pastor said that "You give till your heart is broken, you give till you cry." From the opinions given by the people interviewed, it clearly shows that they do not understand the concept or the meaning behind Pastor Kong's words.

Many of them show the thinking that Pastor meant giving your all to God till you are broke, that's why you cry, that's why your heart is broken. But that is furthest from the truth. Our God, the God mentioned in the Bible, is a loving God that wants His children to be rich and prosperous. God does not want us to be broke. Giving our money to God is a way of us Christians giving thanks to Him. Do we believe that we will stay broke after giving money to God? No! We believe and pray that God will bless us after we give our sacrifices. The reason why we cry to our hearts are broken and tears roll down our cheeks, it's because we are giving an amount that touches our heart, and God's heart. Unequal amounts, equal sacrifices. Pastor Kong has NEVER asked us to give ALL OUR MONEY to God. Neither has he forced us to give to God. Instead, he encourages us. God does not look at the amount we give, but the heart that we have when we give to Him. God wants a willing heart. He does not want your money if you are just giving it out of obligation. It's very hard to explain the meaning behind our giving, but I pray that people out there will not insult us.

Why are we giving our own money for the building project, some people may ask. This is because we want to build God's house with our own two hands. We do not want to rely on sponsors. I want to make this very clear that it is not the amount that each individual gives that the church worries about, it's the sacrifice.

Example: If somebody has a salary of $8,000 a month, and gives $4000, is that considered too much?
If somebody has an allowance of $200 a month, and gives $100, is that considered too little?

The sacrifice is the same, but the amount is different. That is the meaning behind, "Unequal amounts, equal sacrifices."

I really do not know that to say anymore...I just pray that my church will come out stronger than ever after this turmoil.

200

2010-06-01T14:45:00.003+08:00

Like the title above, this is the 200th post. Five years this blog has been on the World Wide Web. I've not gotten tired of it. Have you?

tech evolution

2010-04-05T23:54:00.005+08:00

Started in 2001 when I got my first handphone...

Motorola - basic functions, no colour, green-coloured screen

Sony Ericsson - basic functions, no colour, blue-coloured screen

Nokia - basic functions, no colour, silverish-white coloured screen

Nokia - basic functions, with colour

Nokia - camera

Samsung - camera

Nokia - camera, bluetooth, music, video

Nokia - camera, bluetooth, music, video, document reader

LG - touch-screen, camera, bluetooth, music, video, document reader

iPhone - the whole package (minus video)

upon realization.

2010-03-25T22:14:00.003+08:00

I guess me having a bad feeling after seeing that email was not me being paranoid. What happened last year has repeated itself again this year, but on a slightly better not. But nevertheless, my smile is hardly seen.

God seems to be only one that really understands how I feel despite me not telling Him anything, and I'm grateful for that.

I have a problem sharing my troubles and worries to the people around me, even family and friends. I'm not sure. Maybe it's because of past experiences where I do not get consolation but lectures instead, and those lectures just make my day even more worse.

The reason why I did not say anything when you were prep-talking me? I didn't know that to say.

The reason why I stopped confiding in you? You just make matters worse.

But most of all, it's because I do not want you guys to worry. Typing out all this on a blog is so much easier for me than to tell somebody face to face.

I'm sorry.

seems to be.

2010-03-15T15:56:00.002+08:00

To many, it is seen as a blessing. But it's not. It's a curse, a misfortune cast upon to cause you harm.

FUCKING BASTARD

2010-03-13T00:42:00.001+08:00

Guys are

MORONS IDIOTS PERVERTS SUCKERS FUCKERS BASTARDS GOOD FOR NOTHINGS AND NOTHING GOOD

If I ever see YOU again, I swear I'll punch you in the face, kick you in the nuts, swear at you and make sure you wish you've never been born.

I hate you.

2010-03-08T15:36:00.002+08:00

You said you won't pester but you don't. You keep telling me that I've not learnt my lesson. YOU'VE NOT AS WELL. How many times have you done this to me? You said you will stop, but you've not. Do you know how irritating you are? Do you know that this holiday does not even seem like one thanks to you? I seriously feel like running away from home, and this is not some childish act of throwing a tantrum. I'm sick and tired of you breathing down my neck. You are really ticking me off with your nonsense. I've explained to you many times that it's very hard to find a company that is willing take in students who can only work for one and half months. BUT YOU JUST DON'T LISTEN. I want to run away from home not to escape the family, but to escape you.

Hell

2010-02-18T13:26:00.000+08:00

Taken from a Facebook discussion board

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that, if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra during my freshman year, that “it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct…leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting “Oh God!”

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY “A”

stupid stupid stupid

2010-01-15T13:41:00.003+08:00

I wanna kill myself right now, how stupid can I get.

Urrgh. Pissed off at me.

I will not let this happen again.

All that hard work in the middle of the night and now what.

Some stupid dozing off..

ARGH!!!

English vs Singlish

2009-12-16T15:58:00.002+08:00

English: I am not happy with the way things are
Singlish: How can liddat one??

English: I need to eat something
Singlish: I ver hunglee need to makan!!

English: Why are you behaving in this manner?
Singlish: Why you so liddat?!

English: I can't take this anymore.
Singlish: I cannot tahan alleady!!

English: If I don't finish my homework by tonight I'll be in deep trouble.
Singlish: Don feenish tonight I die sia

English: What did you buy?
Singlish: You buy wad

English: He's a very timid cat
Singlish: He scaredy cat

English: Why are you meddling in other people's businesses?
Singlish: Why you so kaypo

English: That was fun!
Singlish: Whoa, shiok sia!!

English: That's cool
Singlish: Eh, cool siol

English: Are you sure?
Singlish: Sure anot??

English: Did I?
Singlish: Where got?!

English: This soup tastes weird
Singlish: De soup taste damn funny

English: No, thank you
Singlish: Don want

English: That guy has a poor sense of fashion
Singlish: That guy ah beng eh

English: Could you please help me carry my bag?
Singlish: Eh, help me carry leh

English: Are the both of you in a relationship?
Singlish: Eh, you all steady ah

And the list goes on...

GEMs

2009-12-08T21:40:00.000+08:00

"A team player, Deborah readily relinquishes personal interests and goals to accommodate those close to her. She is loyal to a fault; but others may sometimes question her unwavering dedication to current relationships and methods. Deborah values security, and usually does her best to avoid sudden changes in her environment or situation.

Relationships play a key role in Deborah's life, she tends to be a very trusting individual, she enjoys making new friends and developing new relationships. She often finds herself involved in many things at once and loves social functions. Deborah enjoys encouraging those around her. People see her as a person who frequently inspires others.

Neat and orderly, others usually see Deborah as practical. She needs adequate information to make decisions, and she will consider the pros and cons. She may be sensitive to criticism, and will tend to internalize her emotions. Deborah likes to clarify expectations before undertaking new projects, and she will follow a logical process to gain successful results.

Because she values relationships, Deborah prefers to withdraw from conflict and avoid issues that may be confrontational. She may have a tendency to question her own ability to take charge, so she will tend to join in with a team or submit to strong authority. Deborah is a "team player", and typically is excellent in a supporting role."

Argh.

2009-12-03T23:07:00.002+08:00

I hate the fact that I've allowed you to have such an impact on my life.
I hate the fact that I've allowed you to have such an effect on me.
I hate what I feel for you.
I hate that you even had to enter my life.
I hate that all those things had to happen.
I hate that we can never talk to each other.
I hate that we just ignore each other.
I hate that every time we see each other we can never talk.
I hate the fact that we may never have the chance to talk things out.
I hate it that you are in my life.
I hate whatever has happened between the two of us.

Architorture

2009-11-25T10:59:00.002+08:00

1:200 1st Storey Sketch Plans
1:200 2nd Storey Sketch Plans
1:100 1st Storey Sketch Plans
1:100 2nd Storey Sketch Plans
1:200 Massing Model
1:100 Conceptual Model
1:100 Section Drawings
1:100 Elevations
AutoCAD Drawings
MAT Exercise
ES Exercise
HTA Exercise
.
.
.
.
.
And many more to come....

How

2009-11-17T20:40:00.003+08:00

How is it that looking into other people's lives became a kind of entertainment?

How is it that potraying yourself has a fictional character in front of a camera became a profession?

How is it that acting like a clown in front of a camera on TV is fun?

How is it that a contest for a million dollar win became interesting?

How is it that being famous means losing privacy?

How is it that entertainment became entertainment?

Legally 18

2009-11-12T23:12:00.002+08:00

Little actions can do so much, and I felt loved today by these little acts of love.

Because of hurts from the past, the person I am needs to know that she is loved by family and friends. Birthday wishes today were flooded with love and I really felt blessed. I'm touched by what my friends did for me today, I really am. Words are unable to express how touched I am. Thank you so so much everybody.

Oh My

2009-11-04T21:46:00.004+08:00

I'm going to turn 18 soon. Scary. But I doubt I'll go straight to the convenience store and buy cans of beer, I don't wish to have a big belly.

Been listening to English oldies lately. It's great having them play in your room while you are concentrating on your work, really relaxing. Now I have a playlist specifically for classic songs :)

Oh, and I'm in the midst of designing a house that I cannot afford...Makes me wonder, do architects live in houses that they designed by themselves? Something to think about.

If You're Happy

2009-10-24T22:46:00.000+08:00

If You're Happy (The Kimberly Version)

If you're happy and you know it, think again

If you're happy and you know it and you really want to show it

If you're happy and you know it, think again

amk

2009-10-24T22:42:00.001+08:00

Ang Moh Kia aka AMK

This is what a lot of people mistake me for. So I guess other than my nicknames Deb, Debs, and Debbie, I have another nickname. AMK.

Stop

2009-10-22T14:16:00.001+08:00

You know how celebrities, where there are rumours about them that is entirely untrue, and they are very disturbed by it? Well, I know how that feels. It has been going on for almost a year and they've not gotten sick of it. This act of juvenile immaturity is really ticking me off. Ya sure, I'm flattered to be deemed 'compatible' with him, but this is getting extremely irritating. It is pretty obvious that the both of us are just acquaintances, almost like complete strangers. We've not even exchanged a hundred words with each other, much less have a conversation. It really amuses me to know that such rumours have such a long life span. Stop, I mean it.

Pure Genius

2009-10-14T16:24:00.002+08:00

Kay Panabaker, who acted as Jenny in the new film Fame, is freaky. She graduated from high school as a valedictorian when she was just 13, received her Associate's Degree when she was just 15, and received a BA in History from UCLA before she turned 18. And yet she is an actress. Gosh, how smart can people get.

Hmm

2009-10-14T00:35:00.003+08:00

Humans can't live without talking, because they are humans. We all need friends. A thing that puzzles me is, why is it that one can have like 5 to 6 best friends, whereas another is that ugly duckling that no one wants to befriend? Is it to do with the person's attitude, or do we need to look at ourselves in the mirror, and think, maybe I need to approach people who are different from me. As the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together. But I guess a lot of people are missing out the point in the said idiom.

It says birds of a feather flock together. All birds have feathers, yet there are so many different species around. I supposed in real life birds of different species don't really hang out together. But my point is, the idiom is referring to all birds. Be it the eagle, the sparrow and the crow. Birds. Not kingfishers of a feather flock together. So, maybe the person who came up with this idiom wanted the world to accept others for who they really are. Kind of makes me imagine that this person was in a typical American high school and saw how 'organized' it is. Jocks, nerds, and emos would each have their very own table. Why should we change to make ourselves more acceptable? Friends should love us as who we are.

I click with people of different backgrounds. Sure, some of them may not get along well with my other friends. This has made me realized that I've really mixed around with people. You know how you pass by somebody that looks different and thoughts run through your mind about how that person should change the way he/she dresses and stuff like that? That's the problem with humans. We tend to judge people before we know them. I'm not saying I don't do that as well. We should never to too quick to judge a person. And yet another idiom comes to mind, never judge a book by it's cover.

Without friends, life would be meaningless. Really.

O.R.D

2009-10-04T18:06:00.002+08:00

The above stands for Old, Rich and Dying. The kind of men that Singapore girls like.

Ha! Just kidding ;)

Distance.

2009-09-15T23:41:00.001+08:00

"The greatest distance in the world is when I'm standing right in front of you, but you don't know that I love you."

Lonely

2009-09-09T19:44:00.002+08:00

Last night, I remembered what lonely feels like.

I came back home at 0020 to an empty house. The only living thing other than me present was my cat. I was enjoying my freedom while I snacked and watched my movie. Then, it was time for bed.

As I lay down on the sofa bed, I realized that it was just me in the flat. I've only spent one night totally alone, that was when my parents went for a fishing trip. They returned in the morning at five. But this time, my mother was (and still is) in India and my father was in JB. My heart felt really empty. The flat was so quiet. My cat was sleeping peacefully in the living room, and me in the study because the pipe to the air-con in my room is spoilt. And for the first time in a long time, I longed for somebody else other than family and friends to be there for me...

Not God, but somebody I could feel with my five senses.

That's When I Love You

2009-08-28T01:10:00.003+08:00

...by Aslyn

When you have to look away

When you don't have much to say

That's when I love you

I love you

Just that way

To hear you stumble when you speak

Or see you walk with two left feet

That's when I love you

I love you endlessly

And when you're mad cos you lost a game

Forget I'm waiting in the rain

Baby I love you

I love you anyway

Chorus:

So here's my promise made tonight

You can count on me for life

That's when I love you

I love you

When nothing you do can change my mind

There more I learn the more I love

The more my heart can't get enough

That's when I love you

When I love you

No matter what

So when you turn to hide your eyes

Cos the movie, it made you cry

That's when I love you

I love you a little more each time

And when you can't quite match your clothes

Or when you laugh at your own jokes

That's when I love you

I love you more than you know

And when you forget that we had a date

Or that look that you give when you show up late

Baby I love you

I love you anyway

(Chorus)

That's when I love you

When nothing baby

Nothing you do could change my mind

There more I learn the more I love

The more my heart can't get enough

That's when I love you

When I love you

No matter what

That's So Singapore

2009-08-24T15:53:00.003+08:00

You can actually get fined for drinking plain water in the train.

I had a friend whose friend was stopped at two MRT stations by the security because he was carrying camera equipment in black bags hung on his back and carried in his hands. My friend's friend was a suspected terrorist. Why? He was a suspicious-looking person because he was carrying black bags.

That's Singapore for you.

HOT

2009-08-21T23:19:00.003+08:00

All of them look so darn good on this cover. Man, how can such perfect-looking men exist in this world?

Their photo album is coming out on 4th Sept. Can't wait, ha.

FML

2009-08-19T15:57:00.000+08:00

I thought I brought back my butter paper and my cutting pad. Turns out I didn't. Now I am unable to do the documentation that is due on Friday at 3pm. I have 4 plans to draw, three elevations to draw, design process to sketch and a roof to make for my model, and I don't have my materials. FML.

Change

2009-08-15T18:37:00.001+08:00

Yet another revamption of my blog.

Till today, I've yet to find a skin that really suits my taste.

I know, I'm very fussy.

Blogging

2009-08-11T17:39:00.002+08:00

There's an article in the Straits Times today about a woman whose blog has become a movie. I've never thought that a blog could actually become a business.

I do not consider myself a blogger, I'm just a girl who expresses her feelings on a blog. It's funny how people can become famous because of a blog, like Perez Hilton. I do not wish to make a name for myself by gossiping about celebrities, that's the worst thing I could do. I did not create a blog just so that I will be known as a 'blogger', I created this blog because I needed to express myself without being judged and criticize. I do not intend to win any awards for blogging at all, I don't even understand why there are awards for blogging.

Keeping up the entries here are not tiring at all, but it gets irritating when people ask you why you don't update everyday. First and foremost, this blog is not like a newspaper where you get the latest updates everyday. I update when I want to update. This is not a nine-to-five job, I have the liberty to do whatever I want with this blog. This blog is going to be 4 years old soon, and the number of posts have yet to reach 200. That doesn't bother me, and it never will. I like it the way it is.

44

2009-08-10T15:22:00.001+08:00

44, 44, Happy Birthday Singapore!

It was extremely heart-warming watching the NDP last night, and for the first time in a long time, I sang the national anthem and the pledge, ha. It's only on the 9th August that everybody gets so patriotic.

The Reason

2009-08-06T23:03:00.002+08:00

There must be a reason behind everything that happens.

What is it?

Will I ever know?

Why can't things just go the way I want it to be when I'm really in need...

Today was good, tonight is bad.

I told God, "I don't like You."

And He replied, "I love you too."

Eventful Day.

2009-08-02T18:55:00.002+08:00

Today, is quite indescribable, ha.

Many things happened.

There was the two anniversary celebration services in the morning which were great, and then in the afternoon came all the embarrassing moments.

I'm not gonna elaborate on them.

If you wanna know anything about today, just ask Nikki or me.

愛讓奇蹟出現

In Memorium of Common Sense

2009-07-28T14:02:00.006+08:00

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense.
No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureautic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated valued lessons such as knowing when to come in out of rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge). His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school using mouthwash after lunch, and teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition. It declined further when schools were required to get parental consent to adminster aspirin to a student but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became business and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled a bit on her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was precded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Found this on the wall of my classroom

Chirping

2009-07-27T08:22:00.002+08:00

Today, I decided to walk to the bus-stop without my earphones on. The sound of the chirping birds surrounded me as I walked pass the trees. It was very peaceful and serene to hear the sound of nature. Of course there was the usual interruption of man-made vehicles, but listening to those birds singing is incomparable to any music I've listened to. Many parts, one body. All together, they make the most beautiful music of all: the music of the early morn.

You should listen to them sometime.

Not So Often

2009-07-15T17:37:00.002+08:00

After nearly four years of blogging, this is only my 165th post.

Today, while I was alone at home, it dawned on me like never before that I would be turning 18. The legal age to buy alcohol and cigarettes, the legal age to apply for a driving license, the age where the law considers you as an adult. No longer a child or a teenager, but an adult.

I suddenly feel like there is this huge burden upon me to take my life into my own hands, and not rely on anyone else's strength. I get a little frightened when I think about the future. Will I be able to pull off everything on my own? Will I have the ability to take care of myself?

18, still three years to that big 21. But that responsibility is still there.

Touch Me Not

2009-07-09T09:08:00.003+08:00

I now know why girls who get molested in buses do not dare to make a sound.

It scares the creep out of us.

One way to get them to stop is to turn around to any random person behind and say, "Can you please tell this man to stop touching me?"

The pervert will alight the bus.

Today will be the first and last time I'm gonna allow a dirty perverse Indian man touch me.

Wait, two Indian men rubbed my face when I was 5.

NOT GONNA HAPPEN EVER AGAIN

ET CASTAWAY: THE CAMP EDITION

2009-06-27T22:44:00.002+08:00

Perspiration

Hot

Humid

Rain

Red ants

Dirty fans

Muddy waters

Beetles

Cockroaches

Lizards

Bumblebees

Rashes

Mosquitoes

Bed bugs

Cold showers

Small cubicles

Dirty floors

Rough play

High slopes

Aching muscles

Sleepy eyes

Sleep deprived

Tears

Water bombs

Dirty clothes

Too much grass

Long distances

Smelly clothes

No voice

So much to do, so little time

Walking up and down on the hill in the dark

And yet...

It was the best three days of my life.

Robots.

2009-06-15T14:44:00.002+08:00

I saw a CNA documentary of these Japanese creating robots.

I found it damn creepy.

The robots were designed to look exactly like humans, even the hair is real. These people creating the robots attempt to make them mimic the human brain. I don't know why, I just found it too create. It was like watching machines become part of the human race. In a way, I guess I'm kind of against the creation of robots. I have a feeling the creator of Terminator has a hidden message that it's best not to create robots. Who knows, one day these robots can be smart enough to control humans, just like The Matrix.

I just find it way too creepy.

It's Not Me, It's You

2009-06-02T13:45:00.000+08:00

And you still wonder why I have such a glum face.

Another Nag.

2009-05-25T09:51:00.002+08:00

Nadiah you are such a nag you know.
I already have a mother at home and then you nag nag nag in school.
Very irritating.
Haha. Stop complaining to Liana.
She won't listen to you cos she is listening to her MP3.
And ya, you are stupid.

HeeHee.

Quote Me

2009-05-05T13:23:00.002+08:00

"Never fix a glass with another glass, because if one falls, the other too." - Ms Betty Soh

Johnny

2009-04-22T21:08:00.003+08:00

Craig David - Johnny

It's another day in school and he's just walking out the door

Got his rucksack on his back and his feet dragging on the floor

Always late for when he's questioned he can't think of what to say

"How's the bruises?" from the teachers, hoping that they go away

Even though his mom and dad they've got problems of their own

Called a nutcase at 22 but he still rather be at home

Cries himself to sleep and prays when he wakes up things might have changed

But everything is still the same

But didn't you say, you always said that I should speak up, hmm

But it seems like all the things you said to me before were nothing at all, because

CHORUS

I keep telling you that Johnny's hitting me that's why I'm late for school (but you never listen)

Instead you always end up blaming me for things I didn't do (for what it's worth)

I didn't even want to tell you anything in case it made things worse (just so you know)

Every time I say that Johnny's hitting me, hey mom and dad it hurts

Everyday keeps repeating like a record on replay

Slowly getting off the gates with Johnny waiting at the gates

Like a friend who will smile away but then be calling out his name

Put his arm around his neck, whisper, "Now give me all your change!"

Too afraid to make a scene or plea with him to letting go

He just takes whatever is coming feels the pain with every blow

Tries to blame himself to make himself hurt soon as he gets home

But everything is still the same

But didn't you say, you always said that I should speak up, hmm

But it seems like all the things you said to me before were nothing at all, because

CHORUS

You always said that I should speak up, hmm

And to never be afraid to come and tell you if I needed to talk (find me there to talk)

Well I don't know the meaning of love, hmm

'Cos it seems like all the things you said to me were nothing at all, because...

CHORUS

Easter

2009-04-18T18:27:00.002+08:00

Last week was the third Easter I spent with City Harvest Church. After having watched the Easter Drama for three years straight, my eyes never fail to water and tear when I see the crucifixion of Jesus Christ on the cross. Every year during Easter, I am reminded of the pain and torture Jesus had to go through for our sins. Sometimes I wonder why I can still cry after watching the same thing being re-enacted over and over again. But, to me, seeing Jesus on the cross will always be something that will touch me very deeply. It's a reminder to me that one man died for the sin of the whole world.

JESUS, I THANK YOU, AND I LOVE YOU

Greatness

2009-04-07T17:02:00.000+08:00

Some are born great,

Some achieve greatness,

And some have greatness thrust upon them.

I have none.

The Bug In My Life

2009-03-31T22:54:00.001+08:00

I have a bug in my life.

And it is taking the life out of me.

It's super irritating.

And sometimes seeing the sight of it just makes me want to vomit.

I know I sound mean.

But I'm just damn irritated right now.

A NEW DAY

2009-03-21T20:18:00.002+08:00

TODAY IS THE BEGINNING OF
A NEW DAY
GOD HAS GIVEN ME THIS DAY
TO USE IT AS I WILL
I CAN WASTE IT
OR GROW IN IT'S LIGHT
AND BE OF SERVICE TO OTHERS
BUT WHAT I DO WITH THIS DAY IS IMPORTANT
AS I HAVE EXCHANGED
A DAY OF MY LIFE FOR IT
WHEN TOMORROW COMES
TODAY WILL BE GONE FOREVER
I HOPE I WILL NOT REGRET
THE PRICE I PAID FOR IT

I memorized this poem when I was 8 years old. Took me about half an hour I think. I can still remember it word for word up till now. It's really meaningful. It's interesting that though I've memorized it, I hardly apply what is said in there to my life. I think I should begin to really treasure every day that God has given me. Rev. Paul Scanlon shared last week during last week about the 15th revolution. Just take 15 minutes every day to inconvenience yourself for somebody. As the old saying goes, easier said than done. But who knows, maybe that minuscule 15 minutes can actually make a humongous difference in somebody's life. I too am trying to do it. I believe that if each and every individual is willing to do it, we can change the world, and make it a better place.

P.S I actually won a lucky draw for the first time in my life. I'm invited to Fahrenheit's Exclusive Closed Party Event. Cool right? I actually won. I WON.

Dead and Gone

2009-03-10T21:27:00.002+08:00

The old me is dead and gone...

That is a figurative speech. But when somebody, a person, is really dead and gone from this world, it affects the people who cares for that someone.

Sarah's fellow friend just passed away recently from a sickness. She was only around 20 years old. All her life, she had fighting against darkness to continue surviving, to continue living. And due to this damn sickness that she had, she passed away. She was so young.

Don't you think it's cruel to take someone away from the face of the earth after all the years she had been fighting to keep herself alive? She was a fighter, she had spunk, and her journey on this earth ended with this sickness that finally took over her.

This is the reason why we should live life to the fullest. This girl, was somebody who wanted to continue living though she knew it would be very painful. She WANTED to live. How many people here think about ending their lives? MANY!! But, before you think about lifting up their knife to cut into that tender skin of yours, think about this girl, think about her fighting spirit. I believe she would have willingly exchanged her life with any of us to continue living.

Kissing 101

2009-02-22T20:40:00.003+08:00

It seems to be that my posts in February are very...,sexually related, ha. But I was reading the papers today and this article is really interesting. "When a kiss is not just a kiss." It's kind of surprising that the Straits Times embraces this issue so openly.

Anyway this is what I want to share, Kissing 101.

Here are 10 things you should know about kissing:

1. About two-thirds of all humans, male and female, tilt their heads to the right when kissing. It does not matter whether they are left- or right-handed.

2. Men think that kissing is a highly effective way to end a fight. Women think that is hooey. For once, women are incorrect. Evolutionary psychology professor Gordon Gallup says: "The evidence shows kissing is so powerful for females that even though they deny it, once it occurs, they're so affected by a kiss..." That they are helpless in its grip? "Yup."

3. Remember those great standing kisses in old movies, where the girl demonstrates ecstasy by lifting her delicately shod tootsie behind her? That move was called a "foot pop".

4. More men than women describe a good kiss as one that involves tongue contact, saliva exchange and moaning.

5. After a relationship is established, women are much more likely than men to use kissing to monitor the commitment. "There is good evidence that the frequency of kissing is a pretty good barometer of the status of a relationship," Prof Gallup says.

6. The science of kissing is known as philematology.

7. Kissing is implicated in the spread of mononucleosis and oral herpes. The connection to meningitis and gastric ulcers is more distant but exists.

8. The hormonal and neurotransmitter cascade triggered by kissing includes adrenaline (which increases heart rate), endorphins (which produce euphoria), oxytocin (which helps development attachment, serotonin (which affects mood), and dopamine (which helps the brain process emotions).

9. When kissing, cortisol level drops for both sexes, meaning that kissing does in fact reduce stress.

10. Very few creatures other than humans are great kissers. The marked exceptions are our close relatives the chimpanzees. Chimps, in fact, engage in kissing and making up after conflict.

I don't really understand points 7 to 9 cos it's way too scientific. But, the facts are indeed very interesting.

Newspapers don't seem all that boring, ha.

Who Am I To You?

2009-02-21T18:59:00.002+08:00

Leave one memory that you and I had or have together. It doesn't matter if you knew or know me a little or a lot, anything you remember! Don't send a message, leave a comment or tag. Next, re-post this in your notes and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty cool (and funny) to see the responses.

Follow this format:

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
6. Describe me in one word.
7. What was your first impression of me?
8. Do you still think that way about me now?
9. What reminds you of me?
10. If you could give me anything what would it be?
11. How well do you know me?
12. When's the last time you saw me?
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
14. Are you going to post this in your notes and see what I say about you?
15. When is the time we had fun together?
16. How are you going to maintain our friendship?

Remember to do this as well!!

Ultimate Randomness...

2009-02-16T22:24:00.003+08:00

Hila, you are really...random.

This is how it all started.

In McDonald's, they have different coloured tongs (as in clip-clip tongs, not underwear thongs;be innocent) for different types of food. Green is for chicken, red is for meat, blue is for fish, and the grey spatula is for nuggets. So Hila decided to let some hot guys enable her to remember which tongs are for which type of foods. She made use of Taiwanese boyband Fahrenheit.

In the end:

Green = Chicken = Jiro

Red = Meat = Aaron

Blue = Fish = Chun

Grey = Nuggets = Calvin

........

Okay, I understand why chicken is related to Jiro because after saying Jiro many times repeatedly, it sounds like 鸡肉(ji rou), chicken meat. But MEAT FOR AARON?? FISH FOR CHUN?? NUGGETS FOR CALVIN??? So weird!!! And Hila said that Red Aaron sounds nice.

And I thought I was the most random person on earth...

GIRLS LIKE BOYS

2009-02-12T22:15:00.002+08:00

Yet another new blogskin. This is actually Orchard Road at night during the Christmas Season. I love the photo a lot which is why I decided upon this skin.

Can you imagine your life without colours? Imagine waking up one day to find everything in black and white. No colours to differentiate between different emotions, no colours to express how you feel. It'll be a very queer thing right? Black and white is just so...dull and mundane, there's no life in the colours. Yet I'm not a person to wear colourful clothing. Weird person, yes I know.

Oh, I just went to someone's blog and she wrote down a few things girls really like about BOYS. Haha, since V Day is coming up, why not I do something like that as well??

You can do your own list too :)

WHAT DO I LIKE ABOUT BOYS?

1. When they are singing, especially when they get really deep into the song. They just look so mesmerizing.

2. When they are dancing. Gosh, when they gyrate their hips it can really turn girls on...

3. When their perspiration is dripping down their body when they are topless. Apart from the smell they emit, they look damn hot.

4. When they are serious. The concentration they have in their eyes gives me a very good impression.

5. That sexy low voice, but not too booming. A accent like Simon Cowell and a voice like Aaron Yan mixed together will be the perfect formula to make me croon over a guy :)

6.The light they let out of their eyes when they look you in the eye, especially if they are sending signals that they like you. Makes my legs go jell-o.

7. When they are playing the piano. They just look so serene. Yes, I would like my guy to love music.

8. When they push themselves out of the swimming pool. The water flowing down their body from their hair is just so sexy. But you need to have a good bod, if not. Eww.

9. When they sleep. Hey, why isn't there a Sleeping Handsome fairy tale?? They look super mesmerizing when they sleep, I always have the temptation to play with their eyelashes.

10. When they are in formal clothing. Especially those kind of youthful looking boys who are tall and well-built, when they wear a formal shirt with their sleeves rolled up to the elbows and their black pants lying nicely on their hips. Haha. Eye candy^^

11. Their voice if they can sing well. I can just melt...

12. I love it when they play the guitar. Even better if they can play Love Me by Collin Raye.

13. The nice soothing voice when they ask, "Are you okay?". Heehee.

14. When they act like a young kid in a child-like, not childish manner. I love seeing the innocent side of guys.

15. When they are walking in front and they look back at you. Can make me blush like crazy.

16. The cologne they wear or the smell of soap. I love guys who smell nice. Who doesn't?

17. Their smile =D They just look super uber cute!!

I can't think of anymore for now...add to the list girls!!!

The Top Needs Of A Man & Woman

2009-02-08T15:01:00.002+08:00

Today, Pastor Kong shared about the top needs of a man and a woman.

But before I begin, let me start by saying this. Two authors of a very successful book on business did a study on the Top 90 CEOs of different industries, and all the male CEOs were happily married and had only married once. So this explains one thing:

Behind every successful man, there is a woman.

Okay, now for the top needs of a man and woman.

Woman: Affection

To a woman, affection means security, protection, comfort and approval. So all the single ladies out there, make sure you get the RIGHT GUY.

Man: Sexual Fulfillment

When Pastor said this, the entire congregation went WOAH. The girls were squealing and the guys just grunted. It may sound very perverse but it is true!! An average man thinks about sex seven times a day. So that's like every three & a half hours, a man is thinking about sex. Well, this is how they are.

Pastor also said about how to keep a strong and stable marriage.

1. SHARE your life with your life partner.

2. Be CONSIDERATE

3. Give honour, APPRECIATE your life partner.

These are important in keeping a relationship going.

You will also have a Love Bank in your heart :)) The currency in the Love Bank is Love Unit, LU. If the person is nice to you, you place about say 50 LUs. If the person is exceptionally good to you, the deposit in your Love Bank immediately goes up to 1000 LUs!!

Seems a little bit to mushy and cliche right? But, love is mentioned numerous times in the Bible. Humans are made to fall in love. So if you love someone, love him or her with all your heart. It's not that easy to find the right love partner.

Unpredictable Future

2009-01-18T22:31:00.003+08:00

My father once asked me this: "Will you take care of me in the future?"

I wanted to say yes, but in my heart and in my mind, images started to form. I love my parents, a lot. When my father asked me whether I would take care of him when he is sick, images of him being wheeled into the ER and my mother being sickly started to form in my head.
It was so scary.
When I didn't answer, he asked me: "So you won't take care of me?"
When I answered, I started to cry. My parents are now both very healthy, I really will not know what to do when they fall ill. I'm really scared for that to happen. They are both over fifty now, and I am only seventeen. I really cannot imagine them falling ill when I'm in my twenties. I'm terrified of what will happen in the future. It will be emotionally straining for me if they do fall ill.
The future is really scary.

Another Used To Be

2009-01-15T13:04:00.002+08:00

The lyrics of this song are really meaningful, and the singer sings it with a lot of feeling. My top favourite at the moment :)

Joe - Another Used To Be

I brought you here

So I could express the things I've thinking 'bout

Give me your ear cuz I don't normally do this

So bear with me this

There are so many things

That I wanna say

But let me start myself my saying

I thank you

Darling just because

I used to love someone that I didn't like

We used to wanna break-up every other night

I used to think relationship were a lot of stress

I used to think that pain was a part of happiness

Now all that's changed

Since you've come my way

And I don't want us to become

Another used to be

I hope what I'm saying

Don't discourage you in any kind of way

Cuz I do believe

That you have the potential to be everything I need

I hope that you can really understand

That I would hate to be with someone new

And tell her what I'm telling you

I used to love someone that I didn't like

We used to wanna break up every other night

I used to think relationships were a lot of stress

I used to think that pain was a part of happiness

Now all that's changed since you've come my way

And I don't want us to become

Another used to be

Cuz it would only be

Another waste of time

Another moment to erase out of my mind

Another memory, a part of history

I can't forget it cuz it keeps on haunting me

Now that you're here it's evidently clear

That I don't ever have to have this worry again

Ooohh

I used to love someone that I didn't like

We used to wanna break up every other night

I used to think relationships were a lot of stress

I used to think that pain was a part of happiness

Now all that's changed since you've come my way

And I don't want us to become

Another used to be

I used to be the one

I used to love someone that I didn't like

We used to wanna break up every other night

I used to think relationships were a lot of stress

I used to think that pain was a part of happiness

Now all that's changed since you've come my way

And I don't want us to become

Another used to be

My Other Side

2009-01-13T22:21:00.002+08:00

I hate being sick, and the nagging that comes along with it.

I'm down with the flu. One thing that's weird is, whenever I get the flu, I hardly have a fever. It's mainly my nose and my throat. I practically had no voice at all yesterday. Majority of you think that it may be a torture for me not to be able to talk. But, it's not.

Very few people know that I used to be a very quiet person. I can go one day only talking to one person. It's not that hard. Sometimes, I love being by myself, yet there are times when I want to be around a huge group of people. Guess that is the weird part of human beings. When I hardly talked yesterday, many people were not used to it. So if I act all emo in class, my friends will think that there is something with me. But that was who I was in the past. I was not an introvert, don't get me wrong. I was just very quiet, and quite shy and timid. I think that's because I went through a lot of friendship problems.

But now, as you all know, I'm very very talkative. This is what my cell group and CHC has done to me :) So, don't be surprise if one day I'm suddenly very quiet, it's just the other side of me.

My Personality

2008-12-28T20:12:00.003+08:00

I just recently took the Big Five Personality Test, and the results turned out to be quite accurate. I'm gonna share my character traits with you :))

Openness: 73%

Conscientiousness: 66%

Extraversion: 85%

Agreeableness: 86%

Neuroticism: 41%

Openness:

This trait refers to the extent to which you prefer novelty versus convention. Approximately 54% of respondents have a lower openness raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is aware of their feelings but doesn't get carried away with their imagination either. You might say that you embrace change when it is necessary while still resisting it when you think it is not, and that beauty is important to you, but it's not everything.

Conscientiousness:

This trait refers to the extent to which you prefer an organised, or a flexible, approach in life. Approximately 58% of respondents have a lower conscientiousness raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is random and fun to be around but that you can plan and persist when life requires it. From your responses it appears that depending on the situation, you can make quick decisions or deliberate for longer if necessary.

Extraversion:

This trait refers to the extent to which you enjoy company, and seek excitement and stimulation. Approximately 88.5% of respondents have a lower extraversion raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is constantly energetic, exuberant and active. Your answers describe you as someone who aims to be the centre of attention at social occasions, asserts yourself when in groups, and usually says, "Yes!"

Agreeableness:

This trait refers to the way you express your opinions and manage relationships. Approximately 94.5% of respondents have a lower agreeableness raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is extremely easy to get along with. Your responses suggest that you would say you are considerate, friendly, generous and helpful and you consider most other people to be thoroughly decent and trustworthy.

Neuroticism (Emotional Stability):

This trait refers to the way you cope with, and respond to, life's demands. Approximately 46% of respondents have a lower neuroticism raw percentage than yours. From the way you answered the questions, you seem to describe yourself as someone who is generally calm. Based on your responses, you come across as someone who can feel emotional or stressed out by some experiences, however your feelings tend to be warranted by the situation.

And surprisingly, according to the comparisons on Facebook based on this test, my soulmate is Christopher. Christopher Chen.

The following are the suggested college majors best suited to my personality:

1. Education
2. General Studies
3. Psychology
4. Sociology
5. Music Education

LG KP500 Cookie

2008-12-23T12:10:00.002+08:00

*Drumroll*
*Drumroll*

THIS IS MY VERY NEW PHONE!!!!

So people, you can stop complaining about me not being able to receive calls!!!!
Haha, I'm really hyper right now. This is the first time I have a full touchscreen phone, and it is so cool!!! LG is a really good brand. Now I have LG Hi-Fi Stereo Surround Sound Home Theater System, a LG LCD Flat Screen TV, and an LG KP500 Cookie phone!!!!

God has indeed blessed me with a lot :))

Please Aim

2008-12-13T22:17:00.002+08:00

I took the following photo outside my school toilet:

It's quite sick right?

I've never seen such a sign in my entire life before. In case some of you can't see it, a person wrote underneath the last line:

"But I'm quite long."

Whoever wrote that must have a really big ego...

Laughing Gas

2008-12-09T01:20:00.002+08:00

Haha, today I had quite a few good laughs, a good change after a few grumpy days.

Today I went for this Christmas gift wrapping for disadvantaged children at RP, and it was quite a fulfilling job. I went with Nic, Kim and Nic's mum, we had a lot of fun chatting with each other. It's been a while since I've last spent a few hours with my two best friends. All of us are now so busy with school that we can hardly find time to spend with each other. So we're really grabbing the chance this holiday to spend some quality time with each other.

Okay, today, while packing my house as usual, I found this toy dog. This toy dog is not a soft toy, it's like a statue of a Border Collie lying on his tummy. When I first saw it I couldn't figure out what breed it was, then my father said, "Don't you know what it is? It's a very famous breed!! It's a Bordie Collar!" I burst out in laughter after he said that. Man, it was so damn funny!!

Another one. My TV console has two cupboards, one on the right and one on the left. Tom, my cat's bag was at the left of the TV console. My dad asked my mother, "What is inside the left cupboard?", a few times. And for a few times, my mother replied, "Tom's bag!!" When I heard her say that I laughed like crazy, only then did she realized my dad asked what it INSIDE the left cupboard. LOL.

I'm glad I had an enjoyable day today. The past few days have been very hectic and there was so much to do. I hope the holidays will get better now that Christmas is coming. I want it to a memorable holiday.

Nose Frenzy

2008-12-08T01:21:00.002+08:00

Another nose frenzy day.

Today, was just like yesterday, cleaning up of the house, and the dripping of my sensitive nose. This nose problem runs in the family, but I'm the one who has it the worst. I kept sneezing the entire day, I literally had to walk around the house with the tissue box.

We spent the entire day cleaning up and there is still so much left to do. Even 24 hrs a day is not enough. So much to do, so little time. Tomorrow, I'll be going for some X'mas gift wrapping for unfortunate children, so I won't be able to help around the house much. I'm really exhausted right now. I can't wait till this is over.

Exhausted

2008-12-07T12:09:00.002+08:00

I'm very exhausted....

Yesterday, I spent the entire cleaning up my house. My house is gonna undergo renovation next week so I have to pack all my things away. There's going to be new furniture, newly painted walls and what not. The prospect of having new things was nice, but when it came to the steps needed to be done in order for the new things to enter the picture, it suddenly didn't seem at all pleasant. I had to vacuum the entire house, and my bedroom floor is carpeted!! There was dust everywhere and my nose was dripping like a tap the entire day...

Today, it's gonna be the same thing again. The study has yet to be cleared, and my nose is still dripping now. Gosh, it's so damn irritating. I didn't have a peaceful sleep last night. Now the entire family is sleeping in my room now. I'm now sleeping on the floor as all my old furniture has been taken away. Last night, my father was snoring like a bullet train, and it didn't help that my nose was still dripping. So, it took me a while to get to sleep. I forgot to mention that I only went to sleep at 3am. Yes, there was really a lot of work to do yesterday. At 6am, my mother started snoring, and it's not one bit soft. I dunno how I'm going to put up with it for the next 3 weeks. I'll have to sleep with my parents at my grandfather's place.

Wish me good luck...

Bubbly

2008-11-30T22:05:00.003+08:00

I'm suddenly very into Colbie Calliat. I just love her voice a lot. It's very soothing to the ears and I love her singing style. This the song from her that I really love. I like how the lyrics describe how one feels when they are in love.

Bubbly by Colbie Calliat

Will you count me in?

I've been awake for a while now.
You've got me feeling like a child now.
'Cause every time I see your bubbly face,
I get the tingles in a silly place.

It starts in my toes,
And I crinkle my nose.
Wherever it goes I'll always know,
That you make me smile.
Please stay for a while now.
Just take your time,
Wherever you go.

The rain is falling on my window pane,
But we are hiding in a safer place.
Under covers staying safe and warm.
You give me feelings that I adore.

They start in my toes,
Make me crinkle my nose.
Wherever it goes I'll always know,
That you make me smile.
Please stay for a while now.
Just take your time,
Wherever you go.

What am I gonna say,
When you make me feel this way?
I just...mmm.

And it starts in my toes,
Makes me crinkle my nose.
Wherever it goes I'll always know,
That you make me smile.
Please stay for a while now.
Just take your time,
Wherever you go.

Da-Da-Dum-da-da-da-da-da.

I've been asleep for a while now.
You tucked me in just like a child now.
'Cause every time you hold me in your arms,
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth.

It starts in my soul,
And I lose all control.
When you kiss my nose,
The feeling shows.
'Cause you make me smile.
Baby just take your time now,
Holding me tight.

Wherever, wherever, wherever you go.
Wherever, wherever, wherever you go.
Wherever you go,
Always know,
'Cause you make me smile even just for a while.

Rummaging through stuff

2008-11-28T12:20:00.002+08:00

I know I know. I've been changing my skin again and again. That's because each time I change my skin, there's bound to be some problems with it.
Take for example my previous skin. I couldn't view it on my Mac OS, I don't know why. The previous time I used this exact skin the pictures disappeared. But I think the designer did something about it so now it's back to normal.

It took me a while to decide what skin to use. I was looking for some music related skins but none of them suit my taste. I searched for music, piano, violin, blah blah blah. Then I suddenly thought of teddy bears, haha. Random, I know. Somehow the day I chose to use this skin, was the day I had to clean out my room to make way for renovation. My house is gonna be renovated around December so I'll be staying at my grandfather's for about 3 weeks.

Anyway, back to my point. I was rummaging through my stuff last Wednesday night, and I found all my stuff toys. I really couldn't bear to part with them. Majority was given to me, so there's that sentimental value. But, it's always better to give than to receive right? So I decided to give some of them away. But I still kept some with me, some are just too precious to give away. LOL, I sound like Gollum from LOTR.

Oh oh, I said I was rummaging through my stuff right??? Well, I found stuff I never knew I still had. My artfolio from primary one is still around!!! That's like stuff from ten years ago! Gosh, I was looking through them and I was quite amazed by how artistic I was. I'm still quite shock now. There were many many paintings and drawings, and I kind of smiled too myself while looking through my art pieces. Maybe I should have taken up design instead of chemical process technology. Seriously, my art got As. There were many other stuff as well, cards from the day I was born! My parents' received tons of congratulations for my birth. I was reading through them and I eyes started to tear a little bit.

I always kind of feel that I'm not really cared for by others. I'm not sure whether this is a problem to do with self-esteem or confidence. There were about 20 over 'Baby Girl' cards, and they were all filled with blessings. Each time I opened a card, I could feel the love from these people pouring out through their words. It was really touching. That night, I could sense God telling me that, I'm really loved. Don't feel like you are a pain in the neck or invisible to others. There are many people out there who love you. This was what I sense God telling me.

I fell asleep with a smile on my face that night. It was really touching to see all those well wishes.

Thoughts

2008-11-26T14:16:00.001+08:00

I had a thought. But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought was the thought I thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.

Why do we wake up?

2008-11-14T11:00:00.004+08:00

"Why do we wake up?"

This was a question posted to me in secondary school during my secondary 2 orientation camp. We attended this Adam Khoo workshop and one of the speakers asked us this question. "Why do we wake up?" At that time, everybody's answer was, "To go to school." But, the speaker said, "No." Students came up with many different answers, some said because we've gotten enough sleep, some retarded answers were because there's nothing better to do. But seriously, why do we wake up? I was searching on Yahoo! and I found the following:

""Why do we wake up" is an easily answerable question, too. For one thing, the body's metabolic system shifts into the catabolic phase. The body's cells are tearing themselves down in support of the body's need for energy to be mobile, to obtain food and to procreate. Being awake, however, is a very destructive metabolic phase, something that the body can only tolerate for a matter of several hours, after which the body must revert to its 'default' mode - sleep, the anabolic phase when damage is repaired, growth can take place and the body's heightened immuned defenses intensify their battle against the foreign organisms and viruses that have invaded the animal."

This indeed is a very scientific answer to a simple question. Isn't there another answer to this? "Why do we wake up?" Up till now, I cannot think of answer. A few have come to my mind but none of them seem right. Is there a psychological explanation to this? Does everybody answers' differ? Will our answer be based on our own point of view, or does everybody think the same thing.

In secondary school there was this story in my Chinese textbook. The story was about this group of teachers going to different schools of different levels to see how students' think. They went to different classes and drew a cirlce on the blackboard. University students answered, "It's a circle." Secondary students answered, "It's an atom." But, primary school students had many different answers like, "It's a moon!", "It's the sun!", "It's a football!" This shows that your perception of things change as you grow older. Does the same apply to the question, "Why do we wake up?"

I don't think I've shared this poem before on this blog, but I'll share it again. It really makes you think a lot:

THE PARADOX

The Paradox of our time in history is that we have
Taller buildings, but shorter tempers;
Wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints;
We spend more, but have less;
We buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses, but smaller families;
More conveniences, but less time ;
We have more degrees, but less common sense;
More knowledge, but less judgment;
More experts, but more problems;
More medicine, but less wellness.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values;
We have talked too much, love too little and hate too often.
We have learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We have added years to life, but not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the road to meet our new neighbour.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted our soul.
We have split the atom but not our prejudice.
We have higher incomes, but lower morals.
We have become high on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of tall men and short characters;
Steep profits and shallow relationships;
There are times of world peace, and domestic warfare;
More leisure, but less fun;
More kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are the days of two incomes, but more divorces;
Of fancier houses, but broken homes;
It's a time where there is much in the show window
And nothing in the stockroom.

A time when printing technology can bring this message to you,
And a time when you can choose either to make a difference or just ignore it.

-Anonymous-

Sweet 17

2008-11-13T11:02:00.002+08:00

Treasure your birthday, treasure the presents you receive, because they only come once a year.

Yesterday, I had the time of my life. I feel like I have this jinx around me. Every year, without fail, whenever I go to the outdoors to celebrate my birthday, it will ALWAYS rain. Never has there been once when it did not rain. And there has never been once I did not get caught. But amazingly, I've never caught a flu after getting drenched in the rain, it's always me friends. Haha. Quite suprising right? Looks like the birthday girl is always blessed on her birthday!! Hehe. Sarah just called me to say she is down with the flu. See what I'm saying? And I'm in school now typing out this post, and my body is perfectly alright! Haha, praise the Lord my body is in perfect condition.

Anyway, as I was saying, it will always rain on my birthday. But in the end, things will turn out to be much more exciting. I remember very clearly on my 11th Birthday, that I held a party at Escape Theme Park. It rained in the afternoon, and we could not ride on any of the rides after that. I was so disappointed, I cried. But, my father managed to get free tickets for everybody for a next visit!!!! So we went there a week after, and it was a bright sunny day with no hint of a raindrop falling from the sky!! Then, I think when on my 12th birthday, we decided to go to the beach. It rained, AGAIN, AS USUAL. But we still had fun!! We ran from one shelter to another, wanting to get back to my house as fast as possible. We had fun getting wet. Then, at night, we played with sparkles at the voideck of my flat. It was indeed very very fun. We started dancing all around, singing at the top of our voices.

Then, last year, aha. Yes, we went to the beach again. And it, yes, RAINED AGAIN!!! I was cycling when the rain started pouring down. I had to quickly find a shelter. But, when the rain didn't really lighten, I decided to just cycle back to Mcdonalds. I was at the Outward Bound Campsite by the way. So, the rain kind of helped me wash my perspiration away, and, it was nice cycling in the rain. I don't why but I seem to have an affinity with rain on my birthday. They come, I feel sad, yet everything turns out alright in the end. When I was cycling in the rain, the water kind of helped me wash all my bad thoughts away. It was like I was being 'cleansed' by the 'holy water'. Praise and worship songs ran through my head as I cycled all the way back. It was nice being able to be alone by myself on the road, with the rain falling on my head. I like to be alone, yet I hate to be alone sometimes. Weird me right? Yes, I know.

Anyway, as usual, it rained again this year. To be frank, I wasn't having much fun until the rain started to pour down. All of us went crazy. We were taking pictures in the rain, jumping in the rain. And, I fell. Yes. I fell on my face, in the MUD. But I laughed it off, as I was not going to let a fall dampen my spirits. So, yes, everything turned out perfectly well. I had to wear Max's clothes and Sarah's shorts as I didn't bring any extra clothing. I wasn't intending to get wet as my time of the month is here. Oh oh oh oh, it was an unforgettable night for the boys.....

WE APPLIED MAKE-UP ON THEM AND WE PAINTED THEIR NAILS!!!!!!

Hehe, I have the pictures, and they are classic!!!!! I should share it with everybody one day. You can find it in my Wretch photo album, just find the link somewhere in this blog. Ohmygosh, it was so damn fun!!! I was rolling on the floor, laughing my ass off. You should all see the pictures! And my parents were kind enough to help me take pictures :) Hehe, I really thank God that my birthday turned out well. Though it didn't go according to plan, everbody had a blast. Actually, this always happens when it rains on my birthday. I've had a few indoor parties so they don't count, I'm talking bout the outdoor rainy ones here. They always seem so boring at first, but after it rains, everything becomes more fun. Maybe it should rain every year huh?? Haha, just kidding, I don't really like getting caught in the rain unless I have no choice or I am doing it for fun.

I think I should list out the things that happend yesterday. Here goes:

1. I promised Max that I wouldn't be late.
2. I was late for 45 minutes.
3. I made them wait even longer because I had to eat my lunch.
4. We went to Sentosa, not knowing what to do.
5. Ming Yang and I went to get airbrush tattoos.
6. We went to Delifrance, and sang and sang and sang.
7. Max and Chris decided that we should have gone to KBox instead. (Sorry guys!)
8. Chris bought a volleyball for 12 bucks, and the rest played while Sarah and I went to the WC.
9. Sarah and I got caught in the rain walking back to the beach.
10. We all made a decision to get wet, since we were already slightly soaked in rain water.
11. We had a blast taking pictures in the rain.
12. I fell in the mud. (Knee still hurts -.-)
13. We drank a little bit of beer.
14. We played Truth or Dare. (Not going to go into details)
15. We went to take a shower, and I had to wear Max's shirt and Sarah's shorts.
15. We went onto the tram, and we realised we forgot to take the volleyball.
16. Nicole went to get back and take it, and the tram started moving.
17. We shouted, STOP, and the tram stopped.
18. It moved again, and Nicole wasn't back yet.
19. It stopped again, for somebody else, and Nicole got back onto the tram.
20. Nicole and Ming Yang took a bus back to her place, the rest took a cab.
21. We kinda bribed the taxi driver to take us. He actually had a booking but the person wasn't around. We offered to pay him the booking fee.
22. At home, Jun Yi and Kim came in one by one.
23. We waited nearly 45 minutes for Nicole and Ming Yang to come.
24. We started on the pizza.
25. The girls made plans for the boys.
26. We blindfolded the boys, and sat them down on my bed. (Sounds wrong??)
27. We applied make-up on them!!!!!
28. Took pictures of the 'pretty' boys!
29. Cutting of cake.
30. Nicole smeared lipstick on my face, so I did it back to her.
31. Eating of cake.
32. Cleaning of make-up.
33. THE END.

So, we shouldn't have gone to KBox :)

too much to ask for?

2008-11-09T11:42:00.003+08:00

Is it wrong to request for what kind of birthday present you would like to have?
This year, there seems to be a budget for my present, as my mum says so.
It can't be too expensive.
Guess I won't get the iPod that I really like then. Nearly impossible.
Actually, I don't even think my parents would even buy an iPod for me.
I'll have to use my own money to get it, and that will only happen when I start working.
But what I really want, is an iPod for a present, not something I buy myself.
I want my present this year to be special.
Bags? I have. Jewelery? I have. Shoes? I have. Clothes? I have. Computer? I have.
iPod? Not in the list.
I've never wanted something so much for my birthday before.
Is this too much to ask for?
I don't know.
People say, it is the thought that counts. But material things do come into the picture.
Guess it's better to give than to be given.
Looks like I will not get my ideal birthday present this year.
Pigs will fly if it really does come along.
Actually, I don't even think I'll even get a birthday present this year.
Maybe I'll get one, but it won't be anything special.
Something that's expensive? Totally out of the picture. A present that's above a hundred bucks? Don't even think about it.
Budget for my present? Five bucks.
Cried over it, still won't help, I won't get what I want.
No use begging them, it won't touch their hearts.

The Last Cell Group Together

2008-10-25T17:52:00.002+08:00

I'm gonna miss my cell group so much. Today, was the very last cell group meeting W351 had together. There were tears, there was laughter. I cried buckets of tears, and so did other members. No doubt that we are going to miss each other a lot, A LOT. Though we are dispersing in groups, there will still be many people I won't be able to see that often, like my best friend, Nicole. She will now no longer be in the same cell group as me. I'm moving to Ang Mo Kio along with Sister Jer Blinn, Natalie, Torance and Darren. I'm gonna miss W351 so much. They've always been there for me, they've prayed for me. I couldn't stop crying when we started to sing 'That's What Friends Are For'. It was just too touching. I'm really going to miss them a lot.

Bernice - Thank you so much for being such a caring cell group helper. Though you've not been with us for a very long time, you mean a lot to me. I will never forget your lame jokes. Though you can get too paranoid sometimes, it's only because you care for us. You're always willing to go the extra the mile for us. Thank you so much for being my cell group helper.

Nicole - WHITE CHOCOLATE!!! Oh man, you're my best friend yet you will no longer be in the same cell group as me. Why must things be like that? I'm really gonna miss you a lot a lot. You're always there for me. We are like total opposites yet we are still best friends. I guess opposites really do attract right? Anyways, I'm really sad that I won't be going to your house every Saturday from now on. We will have lesser time to hang out now. But thank God, we're still in the same section for usher ministry. Love you :)

Elle - I'm gonna miss your weird and funny songs!! You really bring a lot of joy in my life. Thank you for making that CD for me, I really appreciate it. Your funny dances really crack me up and I love how your sarcasm is always funny. Your childhood stories are even more funny!! *sigh*, I'm really going to miss you a lot. Thanks for all the joy and laughter!

Jael - The quiet one. You never really make a lot of noise in the cell group huh? Haha, maybe that's how you are. Quiet yet cute at the same time. Study hard okay? Your 'O's are next year, so you better revise well! For now, you can enjoy your holidays but when 2009 comes, you really need to work hard. Talk more in your new cell group okay?? Will miss you^^

Joel - *sigh*, the funny and lame one. Today your jokes were really really lame. But, I still love them. In your new cell group, don't suan your new cell group leader too much okay? Be easy on her. 'O's are here, so study hard. Just a few weeks more and you are free! God bless you^^

Clement - Joel's best friend. The both of you are really stuck together. You are usually very quiet but when you talk, you really can say some funny things. Don't get too stressed out from 'O's okay? Just a few more weeks and they will be over. Enjoy your holidays alright? God bless you^^

Gee Howe - I don't really know what to say to you, because I don't really know you that well. But, I've seen you around very often these few weeks, and you are a really nice guy. NS will be over for you soon! So, just hang on there and it will be over before you know it. I'm not really close to you but I'm still going to miss you :)

Xiao En - Fellow KC girl!!!! Oh no, the three of us are going to be separated!! You're so lucky, you get to stay with Nicole when I'm going all the way to Ang Mo Kio. I'm really going to miss you :)

Evan - Hi!! Oh no, we've hardly had cell group together and now we are going to be separated. Why must things be like that? I've not really spent a lot of time with you, so, we must find a day to hang out together alright? Oh yes, you're finally going back to usher ministry!! That means I'll get to you see you around when I'm serving. Wish you all the best for your 'N' Level results!

Jireh - Hey NS guy. You may not be able to see this but I'm still gonna say anyway. Though you really get me irritated when you talk a lot of nonsense, you still crack me up sometimes, so I do enjoy your company. I'm really gonna miss you a lot^^

Chun Kiat - Hey Big Guy!! Haha, actually I don't really know what to say as I don't really know you that well. But, still, I wish all the best for your 'O's, it's gonna be over in a few weeks! So, hang on there! Continue shining for God :)

Deborah Chan - Hey Super Model! It's really a pity that you weren't able to join us for our very last cell group meeting together. I didn't get to see you for the last time! I'm gonna miss you a lot my 'clone' :)

Melvin - Finally, the youngest member of the cell group. Next time, when you want to go to the toilet, go before cell group starts alright? And don't get too restless when the cell group leader is sharing the word. Anyways, all the best for your PSLE results, I know you'll do well!!

Lastly, my song dedication to my fellow W351 members!!!

That's What Friends Are For by Dionne Warwick

And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you

And if I should ever go away
Well then close your eyes and try
To feel the way we do today
And then if you can remember ...

Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Well you came and opened me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you

And then for the times when we're apart
Well then close your eyes and know
These words are coming from my heart
And then if you can remember ...

Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Happy 3rd Anniversary

2008-10-23T18:23:00.002+08:00

I just realised on the bus on the way to school that I've been having this blog for 3 straight years!!!!!! Wow, this blog has really been with me through thick and thin. I was reading through my archives and I saw that my very 1st post on this blog was on 14th October 2005, and 14th October 2008 was like last Tuesday. My gosh, I still can't believe that I've been keeping this blog for 3 years now!! Actually, it's 3 years and 9 days to be exact, haha. So it's more like a Happy Belated 3rd Anniversary!

My language used to be extremely ridiculous, with all the Singlish and acronyms and what nots eg. moi, miie, larh. I've realised my writing has matured over the years. Yes, not improved, but matured. Not to brag or anything, but my English has always been good, just that 3 years ago I was kinda lazy to type in proper English, given that a blog was meant to be 'cool'. But now, my perception of a blog has changed. A blog is a platform for me to express my feelings in ways actions cannot do. A blog is where I can vent out all my frustrations without having being told by a teacher or parent to write in proper English. Simply speaking, it's one way to prevent me from going crazy with all the pent up emotions. Not that I'm a troubled kid or anything, everybody has feelings that they want to let out without having anybody judging them.

I've not really blogged much. This is only my 130th post, after 3 years. That means an average of 0.12 post a day. A little bit too little don't you think? Haha. But, to me, a blog, is not just a daily diary where I pen down all that has happened to me in a day. I only blog when I want to, when I have something to say, when I have something to share, when I feel like it. It's not wrong right? I mean, it's MY blog, I can do what I want with it. Okay, I sound like a very rebellious kid now. But, seriously, every teenager has mind of his or her own, they can do things their own way. So, I'll keep my blog my own way. I was reading through my archives and I realised that there were certain months where I did not blog at all. During those months, people complained that my blog is dead. But, it's not. It's just that I have nothing I want to say. I will never forget about my blog, it's a great hiding place for me.

Okay, enough with all the world-against-me stuff. Today, I went to the hospital, AGAIN, and I'm now referred to the National Dental Centre. And guess when is my next appointment??? NEXT YEAR!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??! NEXT YEAR!!!! FEBRUARY 2009!!!! My gosh, this is super ridiculous. This jaw problem has stuck with me for 1 1/2 years and I STILL have to WAIT to get it treated!!!! Why can't I just have the appointment like tomorrow or something, why next year???? Jeez. Cannot take it anymore.

Oh. In commemoration of my blog, I shall do this quiz based on the first letter of my name, D. I found it on Michelle's blog by the way.

Instructions:

1. Use the first letter of your name to write your answer.
2. They have to be real places, names and objects.

Real Name: Deborah

1. Four letter word - Dice (Hey, who says it needs to be swear word??)

2. Boy's name - Darren

3. Girl's name - Deborah :))))

4. Occupation - Debtor (I'm not sure whether this is really an occupation)

5. Colour - Dark Green (Should be can right?)

6. Something you wear - Diamonds (Just kidding^^)

7. Beverage - Dew (Haha, another word for water -.-)

8. Food - Drunken Chicken

9. Place - Denmark

10. Something found in the bathroom - Dental floss (I think it counts)

11. Reason for being late - Dozing off....

12. Something you shout - DAMN IT!!!

13. Font - Didot (I've never used it before)

14. TV Show - Desperate Housewives (New Season coming to Channel 5 soon!!)

15. Song Title - Damaged by Danity Kane

Hehe, HAPPY 3RD ANNIVERSARY!!!!

EVEN MORE MEDICINE!!!!

2008-10-19T13:29:00.003+08:00

AAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I now have even more medicine because of my left eye!! Some of you may know that I've been having this sty at my left eye since Friday. I didn't do much about it as I thought it would go away quite fast. But yesterday, it became worse. It got even more swollen and my eye began to turn red. I didn't think of going to the doctor's because I had this problem before when I was in primary school. But this morning, it didn't get any better, so I had no choice but to see the doctor.

Guess what I had to do? The doctor said that it is a very big sty. So he asked me, "Do you want me to inject and pierce it now?". I was like, "Eww.". But I had to do it if not the problem will never go away, best to get it over and done with. 丑妇总必见家翁, which means, sooner or later, you'll have to face the music. So, he injected this needle into the underside of my eyelid. Before he could even do anything, the pus started to spurt out. It was quite painful, so I had to grab on to my father's hand to handle the pain. I could actually feel the pus coming out, disgusting right?? Anyways, he had to do it a few times to get all the pus out of my eyelid.

Now, I feel like a pirate. There's a bandage over my eye right now, and I can only take it out at 1500. I feel very blind and giddy, giddy because of the anaesthetic. I want to sleep but I can't because of the bandage. *Sigh* I have to take antibiotics and some more eye drops and eye ointment. So irritating.

Medicine & More Medicine

2008-10-08T22:00:00.002+08:00

*Sigh*

Oh man, I'm sick of taking medicine. I just went to the hospital yesterday for further check-up on my jaw. Some of you may not know but my jaw problem has been going on for a year plus, so it's really quite bad. It started last year when I was eating tapioca chips. Just suddenly I could not open my mouth without feeling any pain. I only went to the clinic after 2 months, stupid right? Anyways, my family doctor said that it was some kind of arthritis, so he gave me some muscle relaxing pills. But they did not work, the pain did not go away at all. This all happened before the start of 'O' Levels, so I was not in much stress. So finally this year, I decided to go to a polyclinic for thorough check-up. The doctor told me it could either be rheumatoid arthritis or a broken ligament. I took a blood test and the doctor referred me to Singapore General Hospital. The polyclinic did not call me at all to tell me the results about the blood test. So I thought it could just be a broken ligament. They gave me medicine so I just continued taking them for 2 weeks.

Anyways, so I went to the hospital yesterday. The doctor did a few tests to see whether I had any other aching joints, just to make sure whether I was having arthritis. He asked a lot of questions, like how long I've been having this problem, any other illnesses etc etc. I had to go for a urine and blood test AGAIN. He gave me medicine again, the same as before. The doctor said that the pain that I'm feeling is coming from my cartilage and muscle, because it's aching from the top to the bottom. When he pressed the right side of my jaw it was quite painful. The pain on the left side has gone away, but it still hurts when I yawn or chew too much. He said that if the pain still does not go away after taking the medicine, then he will have to refer me to a dentist. It's something about the cartilage being out of place and the dentist will readjust my jaw. It sounds scary right? He still can't really figure out what is the real problem, so far now I'm just on medication.

Oh, yesterday, I drank chocolate wine because I suddenly had a big craving for it. I drank it after eating my medicine. Then, after talking on the phone with my fellow usher, my right eye began to swell real bad. I could not even open my eyes wide. I thought it was an allergy to the medicine or the radiation from my phone that caused it. Then, my father told me today that it was because I drank wine. Looks like alcohol and medicine do not work together. I know I'm stupid for not knowing that, but my father let me drink it! Anyways, I have three different types of medicine. One is muscle relaxing, one is for my stomach, another one is for what, I can't remember. I need the medicine for my stomach because some of the medicine is quite acidic. The medicine that is for a cause I can't remember is actually meant for people with depression. But, depressed people get a 150mg dosage, I only get 10mg. And Nicole's reaction to this was, "HAHAHAHA!! YOU HAVE DEPRESSION!!!". Young lady, I DO NOT have depression. The doctor said it was to calm something, I can't really remember, too much medication. I just hope that my problem will go away after this dosage of medicine, I'm getting sick of going to clinics for check-ups, and I don't really like going to the dentist. Though I don't have problems going to the dentist, the thought of them readjusting my jaw kind of scares me....

Enough Is Enough

2008-10-05T18:57:00.003+08:00

I really cannot count the amount of times I have been scolded. I've really had enough of it in primary and secondary school. It has happened so many times to the point that if I get scolded now, my eyes will just start to water. Sometimes I feel like my heart is going to break anytime soon. When I was in primary school, I got scoldings from being too playful or doing badly in tests and exams. In secondary school, I got scoldings for not dancing or playing an instrument well, I got scolded for missing practices because of the clashing times. I really thought that all this would stop. But, NO. Earlier this year, when I was in Carrefour, I thought I could close my counter, so I did. But in fact, I couldn't close at all. My surpervisor scolded me, and told me to open again. I really felt like crying at that time. How does it feel to be told that you can do something and then get scolded for doing that very thing you were told you could do? It's not pleasant at all. I may sound like a weakling, but sometimes enough is really enough.

Today, has got to be worst day in church ever. When the doors opened at 0900, one member came up to me asking for one seat. I tried my best to explain to him that I couldn't help him as the doors had just opened and members would not be willing to give up seats so fast. Then he said that booking is not allowed. So, I kept my cool, and explained to him that it is allowed. Again, he said that it isn't allowed. So yet again, I explained to him nicely and slowly that IT IS allowed and ushers allow it. Then, he asked me a question that I don't think anybody can answer. He asked, "Does God allow this?". I mean, how am I suppose to answer his question??? I'm not God!! Well of course I did not tell him that, I just kept quiet. I then referred him to another usher as I couldn't take it any longer. He's probably the most unreasonable Christian I have ever met. How am I suppose to answer that question?? I just complained to my mother about this a few minutes ago, and instead of comforting me, she lectured me, saying that you should have done this you should have done that. How does it feel to be all upset and complain about a matter, and have a person lecturing you in the end instead of trying to understand your feelings?! IT HURTS TERRIBLY. I really don't think I can take this any longer, I've really had enough of it. I'm very very tired now. All I want to do is just lay my head on the pillow and go into a dreamless sleep. It is during these difficult times that I really feel like going to Heaven.

MAN

2008-09-17T12:36:00.002+08:00

Woman has Man in it;
Mrs. has Mr . in it;
Female has Male in it;
She has He in it;
Madam has Adam in it;
No wonder men always want to be inside women!

Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman....
Why?
BECAUSE THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME

Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now...
I never looked at it this way before:
MEN tal illness
MEN strual cramps
MEN tal breakdown
MEN opause
GUY necologist
AND ..
When we have REAL trouble, it's a
HIS terectomy .

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN ?

Heaven

2008-09-12T23:02:00.002+08:00

According Wikipedia, Heaven may refer to the physical heavens, the sky or the seemingly endless expanse of universe beyond. The term is used to refer to a plane of existence (sometimes held to exist in our own universe) in religions and spiritual philosophies , typically described as the holiest possible place , accessible by people according to various standards of divinity, goodness, piety etc.

Is Heaven really how Wikipedia says it is, or is there something more to it?

To some people, Heaven is a place where there are no worries, a place without anything to be sad, angry, worried or scared about. To others, Heaven is a place where you can lead a carefree life. One will have all the money in the world, there will be maids attending to your every call. To others, Heaven is a place where Man has committed no sin, where it is how the world would be if Man didn't sin.

Then, how does Heaven look like? Does it have gleaming gold castles everywhere? Does it have diamonds everywhere? Is Heaven made up of clouds? Will we be sleeping on clouds? Is there a Jade Emperor? That's a lot of questions to ask, and we can only get the answers to these questions when we really go to Heaven.

So, does everybody go to Heaven? According to Christianity, those who come to Christ, will have everlasting life. "For God so loved the world, He gave His only son. That whosoever believes in Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life." If this is the case, and I DO believe is the case, then only Christians will go to Heaven. If this is so, then Heaven will be made up of very few people, because there are millions of people out there who are not Christians? I'm not sure what Heaven is like to people from other religions. But, all I know is that when I die, I want to see Jesus reach out His hand to me and lead me to Heaven.

So does it mean that the rest of the world will not be able to get to Heaven? If that is so, then it is really a pity. Do people really believe in reincarnation? I'm not sure about this, all I know is that I have eternal life in the name of Jesus Christ.

What really is Heaven actually? We'll only know when we get there....

I'm Pure Chinese

2008-08-25T23:37:00.004+08:00

Hi, I'm Deborah =D

That's how I usually introduce myself. The first question that usually comes out of people's mouth after I introduce myself is, "Are you Singaporean?", and I answer very very exasperately, "Yes." Do I look like I'm not a Singaporean??? I feel that I look very very Chinese. The first day I started working at Raffles Hotel, one of the elder workers asked me, "Philippines mah?" I was like.......NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My colleague went, "No! She's Chinese!". I'M SINGAPOREAN AND PURE CHINESE OKAY!!!!!

There are other ways people phrase their questions about my race, let me state all:
Are you Singaporean?
Are you Chinese?
Are you pure Chinese?
Are you mixed?
Are you angmoh?
Are you Caucasian?
Philippines mah??
Are your parents angmoh?
Do you have any angmoh heritage?
Are you sure you are Chinese?
You really don't have angmoh heritage ah??

Aiyo, I really am Chinese. When I was in secondary school, a few of my juniors didn't believe that I am pure Chinese. They really didn't believe me despite the many times I told them I'm Chinese. They keep saying, " I don't believe! Show me your IC! Show me your parents IC!!" *sigh* Sometimes I really don't feel like answering the questions. Some of my classmates thought I am mixed with Dutch!!!! Really really ridiculous. I look very Chinese okay. There was once when I was working at Carrefour, and my Malay roller boy colleague was helping me out at the cashier counter. One elderly came and the man asked, "Brother sister is it?" At that point in time, I was like, "Great, now I'm a Malay too!"

Once again, I'M PURE CHINESE!

P.S I think my jaw is okay, the clinic hasn't called me at all :)

Rheumatoid Arthritis

2008-08-05T11:29:00.003+08:00

Rheumatoid arthritis (RA) is a chronic, systemic autoimmune disorder that causes the immune system to attack the joints, where it causes inflammation (arthritis) and destruction, and some organs, such as the lungs and skin. It can be a disabling and painful condition, which can lead to substantial loss of functioning and mobility. It is diagnosed with blood tests (especially a test called rheumatoid factor) and X-rays.

Various treatments are available. Non-pharmacological treatment includes physical therapy and occupational therapy. Analgesia (painkillers) and anti-inflammatory drugs, as well as steroids, are used to suppress the symptoms, while disease-modifying antirheumatic drugs (DMARDs) are often required to reverse the disease process and prevent long-term damage. In recent times, the newer group of biologics has increased treatment options.

While rheumatoid arthritis primarily affects joints, problems involving all other organs of the body are known to occur. Extra-articular ("outside the joints") manifestations occur in about 15% of individuals with rheumatoid arthritis. It can be difficult to determine whether disease manifestations are directly caused by the rheumatoid process itself, or from side effects of the medications commonly used to treat it - for example, lung fibrosis from methotrexate, or osteoporosis from corticosteroids.

This is so terrifying.....

I'm very worried

2008-08-01T23:05:00.002+08:00

I'm really worried about my jaw....
Today I went to see the doctor, and he said that I may be having some kind of arthritis in my jaw, which can spread to the other joints of my body...He also said that there's a possibility that it's only a torn ligament...
Tomorrow, I'll have to go for a blood test. The test results will show whether or not it's arthritis....I'm really scared...really scared...
I have an appointment with SGH on the 7th October...Before that, I will have to wait for the blood test results to come out. If the clinic calls me before 2 weeks end, it means.....my condition....is not good...if they don't...then...I should be fine....

A New Look Yet Again

2008-07-27T18:21:00.001+08:00

As you guys can see, my blog underwent revamption(??). Haha. Don't worry about the word, my own vocabulary =))

Anyways, the only reason why I changed my skin was because my previous skin was having problems. The background images of the teddy bears suddenly disappeared and Photobucket icons were appearing at the left-hand side of the blog. I think the designer's account got suspended or something, that's why the images no longer exists.

Well, I kind of like this skin, so vibrant and colourful, haha.

AMAZING!!

2008-07-19T22:50:00.002+08:00

The following is taken from a report in Cairo Times, 24th January 2008

A Muslim man in Egypt killed his wife because she was reading the Bible and then buried her with their infant baby and 8-year-old daughter. The girls were buried alive! He then reported to the police that an uncle killed the kids. 15 days later, another family member died. When they went to bury him, they found the 2 little girls under the sand - ALIVE!

The country is outraged over the incident , and the man will be executed. The older was asked how she had survived. "A man wearing shiny white clothes , with bleeding wounds in his hands, came everyday to feed us. He woke up my mum so she could nurse my sister," she said.

She was interviewed on Egyptian national TV , by availed Muslim woman news anchor. She said on public TV, "This is none other than Jesus, because nobody else does things like this!"

Muslims believe Isa(Jesus) would do this, but the wounds mean He was really crucified, and it's clear also that He is alive! But, it's also clear that the child could not make up a story like this, and there is no way these children could have survived without a true miracle. Muslims leaders are going to have a hard time to figure out what to do with this, and the popularity of the Passion movie doesn't help! With Egypt at the centre of the media and education in the Middle East, you can be sure this story will spread. Christ is still turning the world upside down! Please let this story be shared. The Lord says, "I will bless the person who puts his trust in me." Jeremiah 17

AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Survivor Sentosa

2008-07-19T22:35:00.000+08:00

Yay!!! Haha, had a fun day at Sentosa today.

I've posted all the pictures I took unto my Wretch album.

Don't worry, I wrote my post in English cos I found it too troublesome to type in Chinese.

So, what are you waiting for, read my post at Wretch!!!

Class Chalet @ Home Team NS

2008-07-13T17:05:00.003+08:00

Friday was so fun!!!!!

It's been such a long while since I last had a class chalet and I have to say that this year's class chalet is the best one I've ever attended yet!!! Everybody was so excited and so willing to help out. Even Belinda who doesn't do household chores at home started sweeping the floor!
Oh oh oh oh, the food was FANTABULOUS!!!!!!The chicken, sausage, marshmallows everything was superb!!! Ammar made cold pasta for us which was super delicious. Though it was very spicy it was still very nice!! Dzamir's mother also made qin teng for us. It was super soothing after having BBQed for so long.

Everbody was super high can! Especially all the girls, all of them wanted to take pictures! I was "in-charge" of taking photos, haha. Some of them just jumped into the picture, if you know what I mean =D It was really really fun!!

Most of us were eating and watching TV at the same time. We watched a lot of shows. Love Blossoms and Beach.Ball.Babes. Haha, so fun watching with the class. Even the Malays were enjoying the shows.

Now here's the fun part.............Mr.Ho brought wine!!!WINE!!!!!YAY!!!
I drank about 5 cups I think. Luckily I didn't get drunk. He brought liqour, Choya, Vodka, Bailey's Mint Chocolate, and red wine. I drank nearly all of them. So nice!! Oh, and while drinking, I played mahjong! Haha, been such a while since I played mahjong. Really miss the feeling of playing it.

Haiz, all of us slept really late, like 3 plus a.m. A number of them had difficulty waking up in the morning, too tired -_- But I woke up at 8, I also don't know why. I think I'm too used to waking up early. Hehe, I'm really tired now. I'm now at Belinda's house doing our project. Jeanie is like more than 1hr late.....

P.S All the photos are on my Wretch Blog! From now on, all my photos will be on my wretch blog, so do go and check it out kaes? =D

body not right

2008-06-30T22:26:00.003+08:00

*Sigh*

I'm having this redness on the left side of my left eye. Hope you guys understand what I mean. It's been red for nearly five days already. It hasn't gone away since Thursday. Though the redness does subside sometimes it doesn't go away fully. It's like stuck there. Sometimes its very red and sometimes its not so red. Haiz, I have to see the doctor tomorrow. Even eye drops don't help at all. It's like so useless. Oh, and I sprained my ankle today also. I was running away from my classmate as he was trying to smear my face with cake. I think I tripped over something. My ankle doesn't hurt very badly but it hurt quite bad when I place my whole weight on it. I think I've sprained my ankle more than 5 times already, probably about 10 times.

Today, we celebrated four of my classmates birthday!! They are all June babies =D
So after blowing the candle and everything, we decided to smear each other faces with cake! You should have seen how crazy the scene was. It was super funny. But unfortunately, many people still ended up clean =( But that's okay, I'll get them next time!

I hope my ankle will get better tomorrow. My school campus is so big and there are so many stairs. If I don't get well by tomorrow, I will have difficulty getting around. And hopefully my eye will get better. It gets dry and itchy and irritating. =(((

The Song Quiz

2008-06-22T16:44:00.004+08:00

I found this game online so I decided to try it out =D

How to play:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even though if it doesn't make sense. No cheating.
4. With the answers give your own comment on how it relates to the question.
5. Tag 5 people.

How are you feeling today?
Stomp by Steps
I just wanna stomp around and make some noise!

Will you get far in life?
Three Wishes by Hi-5
Probably, if I make three wishes and pray for them to come true!

How do your friends see you?
Seasons In The Sun by Westlife
I can talk about everthing under the sun!

Will you get married?
遇見 by 孫燕資
Yes, I'll meet the one for me someday!

What is your best friend's theme song?
Perfect Day by Clay Aiken
Uh..don't think so

What is the love story of your life?
I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston
Yes, I will love God all my life!

What was high school like?
為妳寫詩 by 吳克群
I don't think anybody wrote a poem for me in school....

What's in store for this weekend?
愛到 by 飛輪海
I'll probably fall in love with KC's EMDD all over again

How's your life going?
Crush by Mandy Moore
Yeps, I'm having celebrity crushes, and it makes life good!

How can you get ahead in life?
你太誠實 by S.H.E
I need people to be honest with me about my flaws.

What's the best thing about your friends?
孤單旅行 by 何耀珊
Uh, they never let me go out on my own??

What song will they play at your funeral?
I Didn't Steal Your Boyfriend by Ashlee Simpson
Uh, seriously no comment

How does the world see you?
Jesus Take The Wheel by Carrie Underwood
I'm a faithful Christian!!

Do people secretly lust after you?
119 by 大嘴巴
I think it's because they need to call the ambulance for lusting after me?!

How can you make yourself happy?
Warwick Avenue by Duffy
By walking through Warwick Avenue??

What should you do with your life?
Addicted by Simple Plan
Get addicted to it??

Will you ever have children?
With Love by Hilary Duff
Of course, I will have them with love =D

What song will you strip to?
愛的就是妳 by 王力宏
No comment.

What does your mother think of you?
My Prerogative by Britney Spears
That I have my own rights??

What is your deep dark secret?
With You by Chris Brown
Uh......

What is your mortal enemy's theme song?
Wasted by Carrie Underwood
Uh.........

What's your personality like?
Axel F by Crazy Fog
Seriously nothing to say..........

What song will be played at your wedding?
孺子可教（舞動之章）from 終極一班偶像劇電視原聲帶
Most definitely, to get everybody all hyped up!!

photo updates

2008-06-12T23:20:00.001+08:00

Hey guys!

I've uploaded the pictures I took from Lollipop's autograph session into Wretch already, so go check it out!

http://www.wretch.cc/album/debdearest

A Change For The Better

2008-06-09T21:53:00.002+08:00

I'm finally in Cambodia.

If you guys have read my Wretch Chinese blog, you would know that I missed the flight to Siem Reap on Sunday morning. At the moment I realized we missed the flight, I couldn't help but question God why. I felt like I had done something bad to deserve this kind of incident. But I tried to tell myself that God has planned something greater for me. But I have to admit that as time passed, I was slowly losing faith. But, God is really faithful. We managed to book a flight to Phnom Penh at 1805, then we took a taxi to Siem Reap( the journey was 4hrs). We reached the hotel at around midnight. God has really blessed my family with high class service from the hotel management. They arranged all the transport for us and they helped us sort everything out. I'm really grateful to them, and eternally grateful to God for blessing us with so much.

I also want to thank Him for the VIP tickets I got to Lollipop's autograph session!!! There were contests to get backstage passes but I didn't win at all. However, the president of a fanclub managed to get VIP tickets for me!!!! I'm really very happy, and I really thank God, so so much.

THE SPLENDOUR OF THE KING
CLOTHED IN MAJESTY
LET ALL THE EARTH REJOICE (x2)

HE WRAPS HIMSELF IN LIGHT
AND DARKNESS TRIES TO HARD
IT TREMBLES AT HIS VOICE (X2)

HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD
SING WITH ME HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD
AND ALL WILL SEE HOW GREAT
HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD

AGE TO AGE HE STANDS
AND TIME IS IN HIS HANDS
BEGINNING AND THE END (x2)

THE GOD HEAD THREE IN ONE
FATHER SPIRIT SON
THE LION AND THE LAMB (x2)

HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD
SING WITH ME HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD
AND ALL WILL SEE HOW GREAT
HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD

NAME ABOVE ALL NAMES
WORTHY OF ALL PRAISE
MY HEART WILL SING
HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD

HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD
SING WITH ME HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD
AND ALL WILL SEE HOW GREAT
HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD

2008-05-24T10:50:00.000+08:00

The person to beat is not in front, but inside

比較美好的世界

2008-05-21T23:12:00.010+08:00

詞：施人誠曲：鄭楠

總該想一些方法讓人們能繼續相愛
我們到這個世界上來不是來互相傷害

把笑聲還給哭泣把擁抱還給猜疑
把光還給暗甜還給苦安慰還給恐懼

每顆心溫度熱一些冰冷的就會融解
我們可以給彼此一個比較溫暖的比較美好的世界

一定有甚麼辦法讓明天還值得期待
不能幫太陽爬升上來至少幫一朵花開

把眼睛還給眺望把天空還給翅膀
路還給勇敢海還給船小孩還給夢想

每雙手付出多一些不變的就會改變
下一次我們再見約在比較快樂的比較美好的世界

愛能夠慢慢地完美、這個人間的殘缺
下一次我們再見約在比較和平的比較美好的世界

This is a song sung by all HIM artistes, specially for the victims of the Sichuan earthquake.

Here's the link to the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlsbJfgQNEA

Thinking Back

2008-05-19T22:16:00.005+08:00

Thinking back, I've realized that I've been through a lot, probably more than any average teenager has been through. I know that people usually think about their past during the new year, but I don't know why, many memories are flooding back into my head right now. Maybe it's because I just read through somebody's entire blog or because today I didn't do much and had time to sit down and really think about my life.

Life for me is really like a box of chocolates, I never know what I'm going to get. Who knows, one of my relatives or friends may pass away the next minute, or one of my friends may all of a sudden betray me or something. I've been through many agonising years, some so painful I've even thought of committing suicide. But obviously, that has never been and will NEVER happen.

From the year 2000 to the year 2006, I never had a best friend relationship that lasted over a year. Those best friends will always in the end, betray in one way or another.

Primary 3, 2000, I had a "best friend" who would always ask me to act as the maid when it came to playing house. That friendship didn't last. Then I had another "best friend", who would always like to take control over me, telling me to do this and that.

Primary 4, 2001, I had a "best friend" who was probably the most quiet girl in the class, plus me. We were both quite timid and shy girls, so we kind of clicked. But however, she left at the end of the year, for Auckland. As you can see, no best friends that lasted for over a year within these two years, and I was only 10.
Primary 5, 2002. Usually by this time children would be slightly more mature as they are almost becoming teenagers. However, no mature person existed in my class. The "best friend" I had that year was the smallest girl in the class, but she was still slightly taller than me, so that made me the smallest. She was a computer whiz and she taught me a lot. She also helped me get to know all the short forms and all those 'cool' words. But nevertheless, she still kind of treated me like a garbage bag and at the end of the year, how friendship ended.

Primary 6, 2003. I thought that this friendship would last but apparently it did not. By this time, I was really wary of the friends that I made. So when I met this friend, I really clung on to her. I admit that I was really clingy to her, which could be the reason why she decided not to my best friend anymore. Anyway, we were really close and hung out with each other everyday. Then one fateful day, the 'best friend' from 2002 backstabbed me. She made use of my email account and sent this to everybody, "I LOVE JOSHUA ANG!!!!HE IS SO HOT(I don't really remember this part but I know she said something about me liking Joshua Ang)!!!BY THE WAY, I HATE MY BEST FRIEND , ABCD, SHE IS SO NOT NICE!!!" Okay I don't really remember me hating my P6 best friend. All this, was totally not true. At first, when this P5 best friend, showed me this email, she acted as if she had no idea what this was all about. And I was gullible enough to believe her. My P6 best friend kind of knew that it was her but didn't want to tell me, afraid that I wouldn't be able to take it. But I found out the more painful way. The P5 best friend was passing a note down to her friend and it so happened pass by me. When the teacher saw the note in my hand, she asked me to open it, and this is what it said, "It was so fun hacking into Deborah's account. I feel like doing it again." Million thoughts were running through my mind. I was hurt, mortified, distraught, sad and angry. Why would she want to do this to me? Ever since that incident, nobody in the class wanted to talk to me and I was treated like some plague. I lost a lot of weight that year as I had no appetite to eat. What made it worse was that it was PSLE year, and I was under a lot of stress. But I was really fortunate to have my family supporting me. I'm really grateful to them.

Secondary 1, 2004. I was hoping for a change in my friendship life as I would be meeting new people. However, history repeated itself. Same thing, I met a new friend, we clicked, and became best friends. She would talk to me when she felt like it and would ignore me when she felt like it, which was very irritating. I felt like she didn't treat me as her friend at all. So as usual, this friendship didn't last.

Secondary 2, 2005. I was still friends with the Sec1 friend so we still kind of hung out. We met two other people, A and B. All four of us did a project together. After the project, A & B began to dislike Sec1 friend, and so stopped hanging out with her and became closer to me. But, aha, this sec1 friend spread rumours to her other BF that I was the one who told A & B not to talk to her, which is a fallacy. Thinking about it she was really childish. Anyway, my friendship didn't last with A & B as usual. So yet another friendship that didn't last for a year.

Secondary 3, 2006. This has been my most exhausting year yet. So much happened in that year and it's painful just thinking about it. I didn't really have friendship problems that year, it was more of stress and emotional problems. My CCA practices and ballet classes were clashing with each other like swords. If I attended my CCA, I would have to forgo ballet class, and vice versa. Both of my teacher were lecturing and scolding me about missing practices that I nearly succumbed to the huge amount of stress that was upon me. I would have nightmares almost every night just thinking about the images of them scolding me. What made it worse was that my Nai Nai passed away in April, just a few days before my exams. I was really devastated, I felt like I was losing my mind. Fortunately I managed to get through the threshing floor with support from my family and my teachers. Just 6 months later, my maternal grandma passed away. But fortunately this time, it was after my examinations. But still, it was very painful. I will never forget the year 2006.

Things began to turn for the better in 2007, as I found God again. When I was in K2 and P1, I would always go to church and attend Sunday School. But somehow I fell away from God and refused to go to church. But last year, thanks to my current best friend Nicole, I found God again, and experienced His love for me greater than I ever before. Life began to have meaning and became much more colourful. I found happiness in my life that was never around before. This is starting to sound like a testimony, haha. But anyway, I'm really thankful to God. Because of Him, life is so much more exciting for me and I have found many more friends, whom I know will always be there for me. I'm no more that shy and timid girl that I once was. I'm now much more confident of myself, and definitely much more bubbly. I talk more now that's for sure, and I'm not afraid to voice out my opinions. I don't mean for people to pity me because of my stories or to force people to convert to Christianity. All I want to say is, treasure the people around you, don't take them granted. I've been through a lot to know how to cherish, as you can see. I also want everybody to know that if I am able to get through all these threshing floors, you can to.

Don't give up on yourself, know that God loves you, and He is always there for you.

The Poly Life

2008-05-13T21:57:00.002+08:00

School life has been good so far. Everybody is so friendly and nice. It's not like in secondary school where you meet so many hypocrites. All the people are so much more mature and they are all really open to making new friends.

I totally love my class! It feels so much more close-knitted as there are only 22 of us in one class, unlike in sec school where there are nearly 40 over of us. Despite the various age gaps we all have, we all get along really well and so far, no bad blood as formed between any of us (yet..). I thought the guys in my class will be trying to act cool, but all of the boys are really true people. They don't put on a mask, and are really caring to us girls. There's especially one who brings tissue paper just for girls to use! So sweet :) Our class chairman is also always on the ball. Though there have been many many many times he has been late for class and a few times where he forgot to photocopy our lecture notes, he's definitely much better than the previous class chairmans that I have had, expect for Nicole of course :)

I believe that I will shine in poly better than I have ever before in primary and secondary school. I sense that God has planned something great for me. Though it has yet to come, I know that somewhere down the road I will be able to shine for Him. I'm very thankful to him for having blessed me with such great classmates, and not to mention, potential friends to come to salvation! I have quite a number who are opened to coming to church, and I can't wait for the day when they say YES to attending CHC! But quite a few of them leave in Jurong and Woodlands, so it will be quite a hassle for them to go all the way to Expo. But nevertheless, I will try my best to bring them to CHC. So W351, get ready for a revival in the cell group!

I also really like my lecturers. They are really unlike the teachers I had previously. They are willing to go all out to help us, especially my personal tutor. He allows us to go to his house for a BBQ, and what's even better, we can chat with him online! I know that I will be closer to them than I have ever been with other teachers.

Overall, poly life rocks!! What's even more exciting is that my CCA is starting, and my GEMs start next semester! I'm really hyped to start my elective modules! I'll be able to study things that are totally unrelated to my course! And I know that I will make great friends through my CCA. I love poly life!!!

The Paradox

2008-04-26T19:17:00.003+08:00

The Paradox of our time in history is that we have
Taller buildings, but shorter tempers;
Wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints;
We spend more, but have less;
We buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses, but smaller families;
More conveniences, but less time ;
We have more degrees, but less common sense;
More knowledge, but less judgment;
More experts, but more problems;
More medicine, but less wellness.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values;
We have talked too much, love too little and hate too often.
We have learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We have added years to life, but not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the road to meet our new neighbour.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted our soul.
We have split the atom but not our prejudice.
We have higher incomes, but lower morals.
We have become high on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of tall men and short characters;
Steep profits and shallow relationships;
There are times of world peace, and domestic warfare;
More leisure, but less fun;
More kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are the days of two incomes, but more divorces;
Of fancier houses, but broken homes;
It's a time where there is much in the show window
And nothing in the stockroom.

A time when printing technology can bring this message to you,
And a time when you can choose either to make a difference or just ignore it.

-Anonymous-

I will never forget you

2008-04-20T00:29:00.003+08:00

It's been two years since,

1. you've spoken to me
2. I've seen you in person
3. we've had a meal together
4. we've celebrated your birthday
5. you've hugged me.

20th April 2006, 2.02 AM, you passed away...

I miss you so much. Sometimes I just wish that I can turn back time and be able to make some miracle of some sort to bring you back. But you never will. It is the painful truth that I have to face. I will never see you again...

I can never forget the morning I received the news. It was all too sudden. Even though I knew that you would be going anytime soon, I still was shocked at the news. I couldn't stop crying, I was at a loss at what to do. I was only 15. Did I deserve to lose my most precious family member at such a young age? My exams were only 4 days away and this had to happen to me. I really miss you so much..I look at your pictures and all the memories of you taking care of me, of you always smiling and laughing at me whenever I did something amusing, will come rushing back to my head. All these memories are pleasant, yet painful at the same time...

Though I know that you are in a much better place right now, I wish that you were still here. I know that I may sound selfish, but I really want to have you by my side. You've been through so much, you deserve Heaven. Seeing you lying on the bed unconsciously was really agonizing. You were always so healthy, cooking dinner for me. But, all that still had to come to an end.

There are so many things I want to tell you, but I do not know where to start. But I know that there is no need to tell you, because you ARE there in Heaven, watching over me, even as I am writing this right now...

I will never ever forget you, 奶奶

Death Anniversary

2008-04-18T17:38:00.001+08:00

It's two days away from my 奶奶's 2nd death anniversary...